Cold War is the first quest in the penguin quest series. It involves two agents finding out about the plans of the penguins, and requires you to go undercover as a penguin spy on the iceberg in the Lunar Sea.
The finished bird hide structure.
- Speak to Larry at the south entrance of the Ardougne Zoo. He's a bit nutty about penguins. Larry hopes to build a lookout to observe the penguins. His instructions are to collect him 10 oak planks, 10 steel nails, a hammer and a spade, and then meet him north-east of Rellekka, on the small pier north of the Rock Crabs.
- When you have your supplies, talk to him again and tell him that you have the materials to build the lookout. He will now teleport you to the Iceberg. Accept the teleportation prompt.
- (You can teleport very close by to Larry with the fairy ring code dks. If you have completed The Giant Dwarf, use the Grand Exchange trapdoor to shortcut to Rellekka. Alternatively, if you brought the materials with you, you can speak to him again at the zoo immediately and he will also give you the teleport option).
- Upon arrival, there is a firm snow patch next to the landing spot. Build the lookout here by using an oak plank on the patch. Then, use a spade on the lookout to cover it in snow. You can also use the dig option on the spade while standing near the lookout.
- When the lookout is ready, speak to Larry. This will be followed by a rather strange cutscene. Keep note of the emotes the penguin does, as the emote greeting code is unique for every player. There are eight different penguin emotes in all, similar to the normal character emotes, and the greeting will consist of three of those. If you need to see them again, click "Use Snowy bird hide" to watch the cutscene again. After the cutscene, speak to Larry and suggest to him that the behavior of the penguins in the cutscene was suspicious.
- Use the boat or use the 'travel' option on Larry to return to the dock and speak to Larry again - now, here's where things get strange. Larry requests to now design a clockwork suit, which will be used to spy on the penguins. He gives a book filled with instructions.
- Items Required: a plank, a piece of silk, a Clockwork or items required to make one: a steel bar (You will need materials to make a Crafting table 3 if you don't already have one: hammer, saw and 4 oak planks to build a Crafting table 1; hammer, saw, and 1 Molten glass to upgrade it to Crafting table 2; and hammer, saw and 2 Molten glass to upgrade to crafting table 3. You will also need 10k coins to build a Workshop room if you don't already have one. In total, to build Crafting Table 3, you need: hammer, saw, 3 Molten glass, and 4 oak planks)
- Recommended items: To avoid unnecessary banking, bring:
- Collect a regular wood plank (the games necklace teleport is handy here, just teleport to the Barbarian Outpost and head east a bit to find some planks), a piece of silk and a clockwork (or a steel bar if you need to make one).
- Use the clockmaker's bench (Crafting table 3) at your house or someone else's to make a clockwork mechanism with the steel bar in your inventory.
- Use the clockmaker's bench at your house or someone else's and select "clockwork toy" then "clockwork penguin" to make the clockwork suit with the plank, the piece of silk, and the clockwork mechanism in your inventory.
- Recommended items: Dramen or Lunar staff and teleport runes to access the Fairy ring network. Alternative: Varrock/GE teleport runes to take the Kelda mine cart back to Larry
- Return to Larry after finishing the suit. Then, return to the Iceberg with him to test it out.
- After returning, it appears that the lookout has been completely destroyed and that all the penguins are missing. Speak to Larry, and to no surprise, he will blame the penguins. Now, since there are no penguins, it appears impossible to test the suit. However, being the clever adventurer, suggest to Larry to test the suit on the penguins at the zoo. Larry will kindly assist with a teleport back to the Ardougne Zoo.
The player, disguised as a penguin.
Items required: raw cod or ring of charos (a). Recommended: Teleportation method to Lumbridge.
- Free your hands and cape slots and talk to Larry. He will then cast a magic spell. The magic causes a player to shrink and enter the penguin suit! Now, test out the disguise. Head into the penguin enclosure and right click on the penguins until you find one with the talk option. Talk to that penguin, and you will be forced to give him a greeting before he shall speak to you; this is different for each player. Use the emote sequence that the earlier cutscene showed. The penguin will start talking. The penguins are trying to attempt to learn how to fly, in order to escape from the Ardougne Zoo. The penguin will give you a mission report to return to the outpost and ask you to speak to the penguins in Lumbridge.
- Speak to Larry, and you will discuss where penguins could be in Lumbridge for a moment; now, head to Lumbridge.
- In Lumbridge, head to Fred the Farmer's sheep pasture where you will find Larry; use the tuxedo time option with him (don't forget to remove everything from your hands and cape). Now, head off and find a sheep with flippers and a talk option. Before talking, perform the secret greeting as shown in the previous step. The penguins in the sheep disguise will tell you to go away.
- Speak to Larry, and he will help you both return to the Ardougne Zoo. Then, re-tuxedo before entering the penguin enclosure once more and speak to the penguin again. However, he will not give you the phrase but the penguin will ask for the following in return for it:
- A raw cod, the penguins' favourite food.
- Use a ring of charos (a), a ring with powerful magic properties. You will not get the normal (Charm) option, the penguin simply provides the phrase.
- When you have either the raw cod in your inventory or are wearing the ring, talk to the penguin in the zoo, and he will tell you that the secret phrase is do not trust the walrus.
Items required: Swamp tar, and five feathers (both can be obtained during this part, but the Swamp tar is some distance away).
- Return to Lumbridge. Go to Fred the Farmer's sheep pen and penguin suit up! Now, the penguins will tell you to talk to Fred the Farmer to see if he's an undercover agent for the humans.
in order to obtain the information from the disguised penguins.
- Speak to Fred the Farmer about penguins and use either the bully option or warn option. Both work, and when you are done talking to Fred, return and speak with the penguin again. Pick either option in the conversation with the penguin and then they will give you the location of the outpost - it is on the Iceberg you visited earlier under what appears to be an avalanche. They will also give you a password cabbage. Get one swamp tar and five feathers. Swamp tar spawns in the Lumbridge Swamp, and you can get feathers from killing chickens. It is advised you steal a cowbell now from the nearby dairy cow before proceeding to next section of the quest. It is also recommended to obtain the last remaining items for this quest now in order to save time later on (mahogany plank, soft leather, and optionally Combat equipment and food if you have a low combat level).
- Speak to Larry, and he will teleport you to the Iceberg. Suit up to penguin again and head north-west until you see a KGP Agent penguin, and use the emote greeting; then, tell him the password, and then he will ask you for an ID but, guess what, you don't have one!
- Now, speak to Noodle. He's the black market merchant close to the KGP agent, and he'll trade you an ID and a report if you give him one swamp tar and five feathers.
- Exchange the materials with Noodle for the ID and another mission report, speak to the KGP agent, and he'll let you through; then, left click on the avalanche and you should see the option use avalanche and you will enter the outpost.
- Note: Whenever you wish to leave the outpost, simply removing the penguin suit will have you teleported back to Larry.
- Once inside, go into the first room on the left (West), and talk to the KGP agent to be debriefed there; once done, head into the corridor on the other side of the room; you will now have to complete an agility course.
- Once you have exited the door at the end of the corridor, you shall see a small cutscene showing a penguin army! Suddenly, you realize their intentions are a little more devious than just flying! Follow the signs with arrows to the agility course, and when the path ends, just past some blue crates; turn past the crates to start the agility course.
- Climb down the steps and into the water. Avoid the moving ice in the water. Climb the stepping stone at the end.
- Jump to the next stepping stone. Jump to the five next stones. (If you fail you will take minor damage). Then, jump to the land again.
- After you manage to cross, continue on the path unit you come to a shelf with icicles on it. Use the tread softly option to get across. You will have to repeat this several times at each shelf. If you fail, you will be hit taking a small amount of damage.
- Next, you will have to cross ice; this may prove a little annoying. You will take 2 damage each time you fail. If you have only the minimal Agility, level 30, a small amount of food may help.
- After that, you will have a small cutscene of you sliding down a hill.
- Speak to the Agility Instructor, who will tell you that you have completed the agility arena and are free to return whenever you like.
- Note: You may re-enter the agility course after completion of the quest if you have made another penguin suit.
Items required: Mahogany plank, soft leather, cowbell. Recommended: Combat equipment and food (if low level)
- Return to Larry (take off your penguin suit to be teleported right to him) and tell him about the army you saw! He will tell you he needs you to find where they are making their war plans.
- Return to the outpost, but instead of turning left this time, head straight until you come to a set of massive doors. Ask the KGP Agent in the booth to the left of the doors to let you in. He will ask you for your ID and say you do not have the clearance to go through the doors.
, playing with their new instruments.
The music played by Ping and Pong.
- Head back down the hallway and enter the eastern room with Ping and Pong. They will ask you for a cowbell and a set of penguin bongos; you may not see the point, but this will help later.
- Return to Larry, and ask him how to get a cowbell and some bongos; he will suggest you steal the cowbell from a cow and make the penguin bongos from a mahogany plank and soft leather (use soft leather on a mahogany plank).
- If you haven't already, find a dairy cow and steal a cowbell, one is located in southeast Rellekka. If you have access to the fairy ring network and are not equipped for the upcoming fight, you can quickly bank by taking the boat back to Rellekka, and using the fairy ring just east of the dock. There is also a dairy cow just on the other side of the field in Zanaris. Return to the Iceberg (This time, Larry will not teleport you from Ardougne Zoo or the Lumbridge sheep pen; you will need to take the boat east of Rellekka.) Go back to Ping and Pong.
- During a cutscene, the guard will become distracted by their harmonious vibes. Leave the room and use the controls where the KGP agent used to be standing to open the large doors. The war room is to the east.
- You will see a cutscene of the penguins planning to take over RuneScape! The penguins in the room will take your suit, and then, you'll be teleported to a cage filled with Icelords. They are level 51. You may have to kill up to three Icelords to exit the cage (though for some players, it is possible to exit after killing just one). You can teleport out, but penguin security will throw you back into the cage when you return to the Iceberg, which must be done to complete the quest.
- Exit the cage through the fence door made of ice; then, exit through a chasm east of the Icelord cage.
- Talk to Larry for a final time to hear a lot of weird things (as usual) and to finish the quest.
The music which plays during various cutscenes throughout the quest.
Your disguise is found out!
The giant penguin suit...
- The penguin is creator Andrew Gower's second favourite animal, with cabbages being his favourite.
- This quest draws several parallels to the Cold War, a period of conflict that emerged after World War II between the the West and the Eastern Bloc:
- The KGP (Killer Gentoo Penguin) is a take on the KGB, the Soviet Union's Security Agency.
- The term "Motherland" was historically used in reference to the Soviet Union.
- The term "Comrade" was often used in the Soviet Union.
- Palingrad is a reference to the Russian city of Volgograd, formerly named Stalingrad.
- When speaking to Ping, the player will say " Sure, I haven't got anything to lose, except my eardrums." This is possibly a reference to the popular phrase from The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels: "Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!"
- The posters in the penguin outpost are a reference to patriotic murals in communist countries.
- Throughout the quest, the player will lie to the penguins by saying that they flew by flapping their wings really fast. In addition, if you have completed Enlightened Journey, they will tell the truth saying that they flew in a hot-air balloon. If you have completed Between a Rock..., they will say they were fired out of a cannon.
- The secret phrase, do not trust the walrus, might be a reference to Lewis Carroll's The Walrus and the Carpenter. The walrus invites some oysters to join them in a walk along the beach, the two titular characters get hungry and eat all of the oysters. John Lennon wrote a song I Am the Walrus and commented "It never dawned on me that Lewis Carroll was commenting on the capitalist and social system. ... the walrus was the bad guy in the story..."
- The Lumbridge penguins in sheep's costume are similar to Wolf in sheep's clothing.
- "Curiouser and curiouser", said by the player just before talking to Fred the Farmer, is a well known line from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.
- Ping and Pong talk like Beatniks who played Bongo drums.
- Ping says "We need more cowbell", a reference to the "More Cowbell" skit on NBC's popular late night show Saturday Night Live. The skit originally aired on April 8th, 2000.
- Noodles is a name sometimes given to a Macaroni penguin.
- Cold War was the 100th members' quest.
- When this update was released, penguins and the Ardougne Zoo were graphically updated.
- The song "Have an ice day" is a pun on "have a nice day".
- Examining the trumpet in Ping and Pong's room will give the description "Miles Davis is looking for this..."
- When talking to Larry and first putting on the penguin suit, he tells of how he learned the shrinking spell by a man after getting stuck in an avalanche. The player responds with "Seems like a pretty wise old man". This is pretty clearly a reference to the Wise Old Man.
- The Phrase Tuxedo time is based on the Children's Television show The Mighty Morphing Power Rangers and their catch phrase "Its Morphin Time".
- Larry says, "Penguins walk single file to hide their numbers!", a reference to Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, when Ben Kenobi says to Luke Skywalker, "Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their numbers."