Rum Deal

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Instruction manual.png
This quest has a quick guide found here.
It briefly summarises the steps needed to complete the quest.

Rum Deal is the second quest in the pirate quest series, centring around the task of getting the production of 'rum' restarted as a band of angry, protesting undead pirates stake out Braindeath Island.

Details[edit | edit source]

Walkthrough[edit | edit source]

Setting out[edit | edit source]

Zombies protesting outside the brewery.

Talk to Pirate Pete at the dock north-east of the Ectofuntus. He claims to be a dispossessed nobleman who needs to reclaim his family sword in order to defeat his evil half-brother who has stolen his lands and is now terrorising the local lemon farmers. Agree to help him, after which he will warn you about his brother's dangerous ally, the demon Barrelor the Destroyer. Agree nonetheless; Pete will explain his half-brother has stolen most of his fortune, but he will gladly part with what remains for your help `and starve in the gutter with [his] many, many children.' Refuse the money he offers you. He will point out a diversion, knock you out and row you to a secret location.

Pirate Pete brings you to Captain Braindeath.

A cutscene ensues in which Pete delivers you, tied up and unconscious, to a worried pirate captain, revealing that the entire story was fabricated. Upon awakening, you will find yourself in a small room with the captain, who will tell you that you received a nasty knock on the head and don't remember agreeing to help him. He explains that you are in the brewery on the secret Braindeath Island and introduces himself as the notorious alchemist Captain Braindeath. He explains that a week ago the island came under siege of a group of zombie pirates protesting. He needs to make some 'rum' in order to get the protesters' Captain Donnie drunk, after which Braindeath and his brewers can sneak out of the factory and set up a new brewery elsewhere. You will have to gather the ingredients to make the rum. The Captain will give you a seed in order to grow the first ingredient, Blindweed.

Braindeath explains the zombie swabs have trashed the Blindweed patches but that scaring them with words should be sufficient to get rid of them. Talking to Braindeath again allows you to learn how he discovered the recipe for his 'rum', officially known as Artificially Produced Hyper Condensed Sweetened 'Rum' Flavour Distillate due to health and safety acts. If you want, you may explore the area and talk to the brewers and zombies for humourous dialogue. In particular, you may offer to join Donnie's crew, to which he agrees on the condition that he can kill you first, after which the 'boss' can bring your body to some temple for purposes he does not disclose.

Brewing "rum"[edit | edit source]

Blindweed[edit | edit source]

"We interrupt this insult to bring you this soothing picture of a kitten. Normal service will be resumed shortly. Thank you for your patience."

If you brought a rake and a seed dibber, you can skip this. Go down the ladder in the north-west corner of the building and then head south-east to find a cupboard, past the unaggressive giant spiders. Take everything from the cupboard (this is equipment for you to farm your seed) except the watering can, which you don't need, and return to the main floor. Leave the building by the southernmost stairway. Walk south until you find some farming patches. The majority of them will be unusable; the southeastern one will still be available, however. Use your rake on the patch and plant your seed (requiring 40 Farming). Wait for the blindweed to grow (about five minutes; you will receive a notification that says "I wonder how my Blindweed is coming along..." upon completion) and pick it.

During this time, you may be attacked by zombie swabs; find a convenient safespot, such as the other side of the fence and choose the right-click option "intimidate" to stop them from attacking you. A cute kitten is shown to censor your heinous insults. You only have to scare each swab once and each has unique humourous dialogue for doing so.

The hopper is in the north-west corner.

Return to Captain Braindeath, who will tell you to put the blindweed in the hopper. (Incidentally, should you lose the Blindweed, Braindeath will give you some he had had in storage all along.) Use the southeastern ladder to go up one floor and use the blindweed with the hopper, in the north-western corner next to the pressure barrel. Ignore the pressure barrel and the lever; you just have to put it in the hopper. Return to Captain Braindeath to find the next ingredient.

Stagnant water[edit | edit source]

The next ingredient is stagnant water. To get some, you will have to travel to a nearby volcano and fill a bucket, which the captain gives you. The problem is the zombie pirate that is guarding the passage to the volcano.

Leave the house via the south stairway again and exit the outside fence, then travel north-west to find 50% Luke guarding a small gate. For some amusing dialogue, you can equip an activated ring of Charos to hear how he lost precisely 50% of his body in a naval incident involving 'this albatross', spiky coral reefs and witchwood. You can also use a tinderbox on him to incite his rage. (Note that his angry response is safe and will not damage you at all.) Open the gate and walk through - you will automatically make up a diversion for Luke. Travel up the volcano and collect some stagnant water. Return to the house, pour the water into the hopper, and talk to Captain Braindeath.

Sluglings[edit | edit source]

The captain will give you a fishbowl tangled in a big net and tell you to fish up five "sluglings" and add them to the pressure barrel upstairs to be 'pressurised'. He warns you they are related to sea slugs and can exert mind control over some. Should you catch a karamthulhu, you may add that to the 'rum' as well for its added fishy taste.

Don't untangle the bowl and net; if you do, use one on the other to "retangle" them. Head to the farming patch you used earlier; the fishing spots are close by. Fish five sea creatures (sluglings or karamthulhu) and return to the brewery, but instead of putting the sea creatures directly into the hopper, you will have to pressurise them (alternatively, bring Braindeath the sluglings first for him to violently stomp them to death); put them in the pressure barrel (next to the hopper) and pull the lever. The brewing control apparatus downstairs will start to spin and shake uncontrollably. Then, return to Captain Braindeath.

Evil spirits[edit | edit source]

Note: If you wish to have multiple holy wrenches, you can use the drop trick here to get them from Captain Braindeath (at the cost of some death threats) and then go bless them.
Blessing the wrench.

Captain Braindeath will tell you that the controls for the brewery have become possessed, which occasionally happens. He will give you a wrench in order to beat the controls with it but remark that it requires blessing first for the possessing spirit to come out.

Head to the west side of the house and get your wrench blessed by former priest Davey - he will only bless the wrench if you have 47 or more Prayer points, not just level 47 in Prayer. (Note that this does not drain any prayer points.) He will chant the spell Dominoes Ad Nauseum, Romanes Eunt Domus before realising you want the 'full package deal'. He then properly blesses the wrench and adds it may be useful to save on prayer potions in the future.

Now, beat the controls (located directly south of Captain Braindeath) with it, and a level 150 evil spirit will appear, you can easily safespot with Ranged or Magic, or use a halberd behind the pylons to kill it. It attacks only with melee.

Fever spider[edit | edit source]

Recommended item: Slayer gloves

Having defeated the evil spirit, Captain Braindeath will tell you that the final ingredient is the carcass of a diseased fever spider. He recommends using slayer gloves to avoid catching their nasty disease, as these are too thick for them to bite through. You must complete the dialogue with him or the carcass will not drop!

Go down the nearby ladder into the basement and kill a fever spider - be warned that if you do not wear slayer gloves, you may become diseased, but if you are maging or ranging the spiders, you can hide behind the ladder/boxes and attack one; you will not become diseased if you do this. Protect from Melee cannot be used to prevent the disease and the spider will consistently hit 9s even with very high defence without the gloves. Collect its carcass, use it on the hopper, and return to Captain Braindeath.

Note that killing the fever spider completes a medium Morytania achievement diary task.

Captain Donnie[edit | edit source]

The captain shows you the brewing process: an anticlimactic shaking of the control system. Now that the 'rum' is complete, collect some from the output tap at the south end of the machinery with a bucket (as the 'rum' eats through most other containers). If necessary, Braindeath provides another bucket and there is a spawn beside him.

Head outside and find Captain Donnie near the farming patches to give him the unsanitary swill. He will smell the 'rum' and demand you hand it over, downing it as quickly as possible. He will then accidentally disclose the name of his boss mentioned earlier: Rabid Jack.

Return to Captain Braindeath to inform him of this. He will be shocked at Jack's name before pretending he had never heard of it before. He then thanks you for your help and announces the brewery is not going to be relocated and they will keep the zombies too drunk to be a bother.

Rewards[edit | edit source]

Rum Deal reward scroll.png

Required for completing[edit | edit source]

Rum Deal is directly required for the following quests/miniquests:

It is therefore an indirect requirement for the following quests and miniquests:

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • When talking to one of the brewers in the 'rum' factory, he quotes a line from the Monty Python's Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook: "my hovercraft is full of eels."
  • In addition, one of the brewers says "game over man, game over!", which is a reference to the movie Aliens.
  • Another asks, after you enquire about the priest, "Do you need a young priest or an old priest?". This is a reference to The Exorcist.
  • Part of Davey's blessing is "Romanes Eunt Domus" (which is barbarised Latin for "Romans go home") and is a reference to Monty Python's Life of Brian.
  • The other type of fish you can catch besides sluglings is called Karamthulhu. This is another in-game reference to H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu, which is described as having tentacles as a main physical feature.
  • When you have Davey bless your wrench, the camera will zoom in on your character. Once that happens, your character will hold up the wrench and say "Groovy." This is a reference to the 1981 film Evil Dead and sequel Evil Dead 2 when the main character Ash cuts his own possessed hand off and replaces it with a chainsaw.
  • When attacking the Evil spirit, your character will say: "The power of Guthix compels you!" this is also a reference to the movie The Exorcist, where the priest yells: "The power of Christ compels you!".
  • When you talk to 50% Luke and ask "So what goes on here?", he says "You expect me to talk?" to which you reply "No Mr Luke, I expect you to die". This is a reference to the James Bond film Goldfinger.
  • If you try to pull the pressure lever, without putting in the five sea creatures, you will get the message: "You do not yet have the five sea creatures in the barrel!" even if you haven't got the message from Captain Braindeath.
  • One of the lines that the zombie pirates say is "United we stagger." this is a reference to the US saying, "United we stand."
  • When getting a bucket of 'rum', a message will appear "you carefully fill the bucket with the foul-smelling swill." When examining the bucket with 'rum', it says "sorry, I mean a bucket of 'rum'".
  • When speaking to 50% Luke, asking him "So how flammable are you?", he will reply, "Don't make me angry! Ye'll not like me when I'm angry"; this is a reference to the Incredible Hulk when Bruce Banner tells Jack McGee, "Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
  • The quest title Rum Deal may be a reference to the phrase Bum Deal, when somebody gets the poor end of the deal where the player has lots of menial tasks to complete.
  • When examining the Evil spirit, it states "The pun was intended." referring to 'spirit' being another term for alcohol.
  • Pirate Pete talks about fighting a demon named Barrelor, which is not an actual monster, but later in the quest series the player fights Barrelchest.
  • The blessing of the wrench uses the same animation as the summoning ritual in Shadow of the Storm using demonic sigils. In particular, Agrith Naar's symbol can be seen.