Rum Deal

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Rum Deal (#90)
Rum Deal.png
Released 31 October 2005 (Update)
Members Yes
Quest series Pirate, #1
Official difficulty Experienced
Lead developer(s) Anthony W

Rum Deal is the first quest in the pirate quest series, centring around the task of getting the production of 'rum' restarted as a band of angry, protesting undead pirates stake out Braindeath Island.

Details[edit | edit source]

Start pointQuest point icon.png Pirate Pete, at a dock due north of Port Phasmatys.
Official difficultyExperienced
DescriptionZombie pirates have arisen on Braindeath Island, and they don't look friendly! Production of 'rum' has stopped, and the pirate brewers are running scared. Can you overcome the horde of drunken, undead pirates? Can you even get to the island without getting a splitting headache?
Official lengthMedium
Items required
Enemies to defeat

Walkthrough[edit | edit source]

Setting out[edit | edit source]

Zombies protesting outside the brewery.

Talk to Pirate Pete at the dock north-east of the Ectofuntus to start the quest. Pirate Pete claims to be a dispossessed nobleman who needs to reclaim his family sword in order to defeat his evil half-brother, who has stolen his lands and is now terrorising the local lemon farmers. Agree to help him, after which he will warn you about his brother's dangerous ally, the demon Barrelor the Destroyer. Agree nonetheless; Pete will explain his half-brother has stolen most of his fortune, but he will gladly part with what remains for your help. Refuse the money he offers you. He will point out a diversion, knock you out and row you to a secret location.

Pirate Pete brings you to Captain Braindeath.

A cutscene ensues in which Pete delivers you, tied up and unconscious, to a worried pirate captain, revealing that the entire story was fabricated. Upon awakening, you will find yourself in a small room with the captain, who will explain that you are in the brewery on the secret Braindeath Island. He introduces himself as Captain Braindeath, and explains that a week ago the island came under siege of a group of zombie pirates protesting. He needs to make some 'rum' in order to get the protesters' leader Captain Donnie drunk, after which Braindeath and his brewers can sneak out of the factory and set up a new brewery elsewhere. You will have to gather the ingredients to make the rum.

Braindeath will give you a seed in order to grow the first ingredient, blindweed. He explains the zombie swabs have trashed the previous blindweed patches, but that intimidation should be sufficient to get rid of them.

Brewing "rum"[edit | edit source]

Blindweed[edit | edit source]

"We interrupt this insult to bring you this soothing picture of a kitten. Normal service will be resumed shortly. Thank you for your patience."
Items needed: Rake and seed dibber.

If you don't have the rake and seed dibber yet, go down the ladder in the north-west corner of the building to the basement, and then head south-east past the spiders to find a cupboard. There, take the rake and seed dibber from the cupboard.

Leave the building by the southernmost stairway, towards the farming patches. You may be attacked by zombie swabs; walk out of combat and right-click to "Intimidate" them, which permanently stops them from attacking you. A picture of a kitten will be shown to censor your insults.

The only usable farming patch is the south-eastern one. Use your rake on the patch to remove the weeds and then plant the seed (requires Farming 40 Farming). Wait a few minutes for the blindweed to grow; you will receive the notification "I wonder how my blindweed is coming along...". Harvest the crop. Note: Should you lose the blindweed after this, Braindeath will give you some he had had in storage all along.

The hopper is in the north-west corner.

Return to Captain Braindeath, who will tell you to put the blindweed in the hopper upstairs. Use the south-eastern ladder to climb upstairs and then use the blindweed on the hopper in the north-western corner of the room. You can ignore the lever for now. Talk to Captain Braindeath for the next ingredient; stagnant water.

Stagnant water[edit | edit source]

Items needed: Bucket.

Braindeath will hand you a bucket unless you already have one. You will have to travel to a nearby volcano and fill the bucket with the stagnant water.

Leave the house via the south stairway again and exit the outside fence, then travel north-west to find 50% Luke guarding a small gate (you may equip a Ring of charos (a) or use a tinderbox on him for some amusing dialogue). Pass the gate behind him and travel up the volcano to collect the stagnant water. Return to the house, pour the water into the hopper, and talk to Captain Braindeath.

Sluglings[edit | edit source]

Braindeath will give you a fishbowl tangled in a big net. Note: If you untangle the fishbowl and net, you have to use them on each other to retangle them. Head to the fishing spots near the farming patch you used earlier. You have to catch a total of five sluglings or karamthulhu and add them to the pressure barrel upstairs in the building, next to the hopper. Pull the lever, and the brewing control apparatus downstairs will start to spin and shake uncontrollably. Return to Captain Braindeath.

Evil spirits[edit | edit source]

Blessing the wrench.

The captain will tell you that the controls for the brewery have become possessed, which "occasionally happens". He will give you a wrench in order to beat the controls with it, but remarks that it requires a blessing first for the possessing spirit to come out. Head to the west side of the house and get your wrench blessed by former priest Davey. He will only bless the wrench if you have 47 or more available prayer points, not just level 47 in Prayer. Note that this does not drain any prayer points.

Now, beat up the controls with the holy wrench. They are located directly south of Braindeath. As soon as you hit the controls, a level 150 Evil spirit will appear and attack you. His attacks can be negated with Protect from Melee, or by using a safespot with Ranged, Magic, or a halberd.

Fever spider[edit | edit source]

Items recommended: Means to deal damage at range (Magic, Ranged or a Halberd) or means to negate disease (such as Slayer gloves or a Relicym's balm).

Having defeated the evil spirit, Captain Braindeath will tell you that the final ingredient is the carcass of a diseased fever spider. You must complete the dialogue with him or the carcass will not drop!

Go down the nearby ladder into the basement and kill a fever spider. Be warned that fever spiders inflict disease on hit, even with Protect from Melee; you can circumvent this by using a safespot or having slayer gloves equipped, or using a cure such as relicym's balm. Collect its carcass, use it on the hopper, and return to Captain Braindeath.

Note that killing the fever spider completes a medium Morytania achievement diary task.

Captain Donnie[edit | edit source]

Now that the 'rum' is complete, collect some with a bucket from the output tap at the south end of the machinery. Braindeath gives you a bucket if you don't already have one.

Head outside and find Captain Donnie near the farming patches to give him the unsanitary swill. He will smell the 'rum' and demand you hand it over, downing it as quickly as possible. He will then accidentally disclose the name of his boss, Rabid Jack. Return to Captain Braindeath to inform him of this. He will be shocked at Jack's name before pretending he had never heard of it before. He then thanks you for your help and announces the brewery is not going to be relocated, and they will keep the zombies too drunk to be a bother.

Congratulations! Quest complete!

Rewards[edit | edit source]

Rum Deal reward scroll.png

Required for completing[edit | edit source]

Completion of Rum Deal is required for the following:

Transcript[edit | edit source]

This article on a quest has an associated dialogue page.
Click here for a transcript of possible conversations encountered throughout the quest.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • When talking to one of the brewers in the 'rum' factory, he quotes a line from Monty Python's Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook: "My hovercraft is full of eels".
  • In addition, one of the brewers says "Game over man, game over!", which is a reference to the movie Aliens.
  • Another asks, after you enquire about the priest, "Do you need a young priest or an old priest?". This is a reference to The Exorcist.
  • Part of Davey's blessing is "Romanes Eunt Domus", which is barbarised Latin for "Romans go home". This is a reference to Monty Python's Life of Brian.
  • The other type of fish you can catch besides sluglings is called Karamthulhu. This is another in-game reference to H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu, which is described as having tentacles as a main physical feature.
  • When Davey blesses your wrench, the camera will zoom in on your character who then holds up the wrench and says "Groovy". This is a reference to the 1981 film Evil Dead and sequel Evil Dead 2, when the main character Ash cuts his own possessed hand off and replaces it with a chainsaw.
  • When attacking the Evil spirit, your character will say: "The power of Guthix compels you!". This is also a reference to the movie The Exorcist, where the priest yells: "The power of Christ compels you!".
  • When you talk to 50% Luke and ask "So what goes on here?", he says "You expect me to talk?", to which you reply "No Mr Luke, I expect you to die". This is a reference to the James Bond film Goldfinger.
  • If you try to pull the pressure lever without putting in the five sea creatures, you will get the message "You do not yet have the five sea creatures in the barrel!", even if you haven't got the message from Captain Braindeath.
  • One of the lines that the zombie pirates say is "United we stagger". This is a reference to the US saying, "United we stand".
  • When getting a bucket of 'rum', a message will appear: "You carefully fill the bucket with the foul-smelling swill." When examining the bucket with 'rum', it says "Sorry, I mean a bucket of 'rum'."
  • When speaking to 50% Luke, asking him "So how flammable are you?", he will reply, "Don't make me angry! Ye'll not like me when I'm angry"; this is a reference to The Incredible Hulk when Bruce Banner tells Jack McGee, "Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."
  • The quest title Rum Deal may be a reference to the phrase Bum Deal, when somebody gets the poor end of the deal, where the player has lots of menial tasks to complete.
  • When examining the Evil spirit, it states "The pun was intended", referring to 'spirit' being another term for alcohol.
  • Pirate Pete talks about fighting a demon named Barrelor, which is not an actual monster, but later in the quest series the player fights Barrelchest.
  • The blessing of the wrench uses the same animation as the summoning ritual in Shadow of the Storm using demonic sigils. In particular, Agrith Naar's symbol can be seen.
  • Using the fever spider corpse on Captain Braindeath will cause him to say "What are ye doin', lad? I want ye to shove that in the hopper, not in me face!", and, "Ye just can't get good help these days...".