Dialogue for 50% Luke

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Standard dialogue[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Are you all right?
  • 50% Luke: Who goes there?
  • 50% Luke: Arr! A landlubber!
  • 50% Luke: Begone afore I take my cutlass to ye! I've been charged with guardin' this gate and no noodle-armed landlubbers will make it past me alive!
  • Player: That's not a cutlass.
  • Player: I think it's a twig.
  • 50% Luke: Ye cheeky begger! I was wavin' my finger at ye!
  • Player: All right...
  • 50% Luke: Arrr... just 'cos me body happens to be 50% wood does not mean I'm heartless.
  • 50% Luke: I got a bag of 'em here. Wanna see?
  • Player: I think I'll pass.
    • Player: What happened to you?
      • Without a Ring of Charos, the following dialogue will happen:
      • 50% Luke: That be a tale so heart-wrenchin' that it has so far wrenched the hearts from over a dozen sturdier men than thee!
      • 50% Luke: A tale of such woe that none but the stoniest hearts can hear it without sheddin' a single, poignant tear...
      • 50% Luke: And I'll never tell ye, not even if ye wore an item, such as a ring, with powers of mind control!
      • Player: What if I said please?
      • 50% Luke: Hmmmm...well alright...
      • 50% Luke: Wait, no!
      • 50% Luke: Get goin' landlubber before I take my splintery foot to yer behind!
      • (End of dialogue)
      • With the Ring of Charos equipped, this dialogue happens:
      • 50% Luke: Well ye seem like a lad that can handle such a tale...so I'll tell ye...
      • 50% Luke: Well, it all starts with this albatross...
      • 50% Luke: Wait, never mind, I'll skip forward a bit.
      • Player: Are you sure?
      • 50% Luke: I have to lad, Cap'n Donnie will flay what little is left of me if I told ye.
      • 50% Luke: But anyway, I got recruited to the zombie pirates along with the rest of the crew in an unspecified incident involvin this albatross.
      • 50% Luke: We was sailin' along happily, and I was partakin' of a little 'rum' in the crows nest.
      • 50% Luke: Well, we hit either a really rough wave or some rocks.
      • 50% Luke: Twas kind of hard for me to tell which, as I was well out of it by then!
      • 50% Luke: Regardless I toppled from the crows nest into the water.
      • Player: Is that how you got so badly injured?
      • 50% Luke: No lad!
      • 50% Luke: What happened next was that I discovered a new, previously uncharted reef of hard, spiky coral.
      • 50% Luke: I made a mental note of its location, and to this day it is still marked on our fleet's charts as Lukes Reef.
      • 50% Luke: I managed to grab a hold of our ship, the Inebriated, as it passed overhead.
      • 50% Luke: And then I discovered another, taller, spikier reef of even sharper and more painful coral.
      • 50% Luke: To this day it is still marked on our fleet's charts as The Other 50% Reef.
      • Player: Owwwwwwwww...
      • 50% Luke: It gets worse...
      • 50% Luke: When they hauled what was left of me on deck, they dropped me onto the floor while they decided what to do with me.
      • 50% Luke: Bear in mind this would be on a ghost ship, the planks of which sweat a thick mixture of stagnant water...and pure salt crystals.
      • Player: Oh...my...god...
      • 50% Luke: But on the good side, all my thrashin' and pained squealin' settled the matter in the Captain's mind, and he had the shipwright carve me half a body out of his Witchwood Planks.
      • Player: Witchwood? What's that?
      • 50% Luke: Tis a special, magical wood from a now extinct tree.
      • 50% Luke: Once they nailed it all in place the stuff moves like it is part of me body.
      • 50% Luke: The stuff will also grow back if it breaks, which is dead handy!
      • Player: Wow, that stuff must be very valuable!
      • 50% Luke: Arr! That it be!
      • 50% Luke: So, that be the tale of how I managed to lose precisely 50% of my body.
      • Player: There there.
      • (End of dialogue)
    • Player: So how flammable are you?
      • 50% Luke: What kind of a question is that?
      • If you don't have a tinderbox with you, this will be said:
      • Player: A rather rude, personal one?
      • 50% Luke: Ye've got that right!
      • (End of dialogue)
      • If you try to use a tinderbox or have a tinderbox and use this dialogue piece with a tinderbox on 50% Luke, your character will say the following:
      • Player: I'll soon have you out of the way! Burn!
      • (Your character then will use the lighting animation on 50% Luke, nothing happens, but the dialogue continues)
      • 50% Luke: Don't make me angry! Ye'll not like me when I'm angry!
      • (The screen will turn black and a message appears saying "One 500 hit combo later...", continuing the dialogue will turn the screen back to normal and the dialogue continues)
      • 50% Luke: Let that be a lesson to ye!
      • Player: My world is an ocean of paaaain!
      • (End of dialogue)
    • Player: So what is going on here anyway?
      • 50% Luke: Ye expect me to talk?
      • Player: No Mr. Luke, I expect you to die!
      • 50% Luke: Hah! I'm one step ahead of ye!
      • Player: Egad, outsmarted by the man with the wooden brain.
      • Player: But seriously, what is going on here?
      • 50% Luke: I can't tell ye lad.
      • 50% Luke: The Cap'n would have me whittled down to toothpicks if I did.
      • Player: Well if you can't tell me, perhaps you could show me through the medium of Interpretive Dance?
      • 50% Luke: No. Just...no.
      • Player: Mime?
      • 50% Luke: Look, lad I'm not tellin' ye a thing! So clear out while ye still can!
      • (End of dialogue)
  • If you try to use the gate near 50% Luke, he'll notice and say this:
  • 50% Luke: Arr! Tryin' ter get away eh? Well ye'll never sneak past me, I'm the best lookout this crew has ever seen!
  • Your character will then say the following lines at random:
  • Player: Who's that making faces behind you?
  • Player: That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!
  • Player: Is that your distraction?
  • Player: Who is that behind you?
  • Player: Hey you! Look over there!
  • Player: Oh my! Is that a genuine 3rd Age Diversion?
  • (50% Luke then will turn around and say "Where?", allowing you to pass the gate every time)
  • When you are on the other side of the gate and you wanna return back where you came from, 50% Luke will notice as well and say this:
  • 50% Luke: Hey! What are you doing out there?
  • Player: Nothing.
  • 50% Luke: Well Cap'n Donnie said no livin' landlubbers were allowed out of the compound.
  • 50% Luke: So get yerself back in here, or yer for it!
  • (End of dialogue)