Concerning the treatment of cats in West Ardougne.

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While the name or title of this topic is not officially recognised in-game, the information contained on this page is still considered to be canon and is based on official sources.
This official Postbag from the Hedge was copied verbatim from the Old School RuneScape website. It is copyrighted by Jagex.
It was added on 11 November 2021.

Hello adventurers! It’s me, Postie Pete, back again with another selection of questions and answers from all over Gielinor. Once again I’ve been all over the place, from Mount Karuulm to West Ardougne. Let’s see what I’ve got in my bag!


The Tasakaal[edit | edit source]

Dearest Kaal-Mej-San, Kaal-Ket-Jor and Kaal-Xil-Dar,

I understand that what I've done for you so far is truly nothing in the grand scheme of things, but I hope it is enough for you to trust me with the answer to the following question:

How were you three capable of traversing from Mor Ul Rek to Mount Karuulm? From what I know from the TzHaar of Mor Ul Rek, exiting the volcano brings your kind to a deadly low temperature. That's not even counting the fact that there's an entire ocean between here and there!

Your friend, Zacflame

(Note to Pete: It is extremely hot down there, be careful!)

Human,

Your understanding is correct. We will answer still.

We chose our new purpose long ago.

Eons ago.

When the ocean was only a stream.

When this world did not sprawl.

And was quiet.

Many things have changed.

But the balance remains the same.


(You weren’t kidding, Zacflame! Luckily these old bones are tough. Onto the next letter!)

Altarkiz[edit | edit source]

To Altarkiz,

Is it true that you're a Bedabin Nomad? Why have you come so far from the desert? What are you concentrating on? Are you enjoying your trip?

From Deztv

Huh?

Oh, yes, I'm from the desert. Haris and I signed up with Captain Tock's crew because we were looking for some real adventure. As soon as I'm done meditating by counting these blades of grass, we can get back to it! I'm on number 25,921. Or was it 25,922? Uh oh...


Altarkiz

Death[edit | edit source]

To the esteemed Harold Death Esq.,

How is Nieve getting along? I hope she is coming to terms with her new environment and she treats Muncher well. Let her know I sent Glough her way.

Kind Regards, Ingus Wraith

Dear Ingus Wraith,

Nieve? I’m afraid she moved out of my jurisdiction long ago. One moment – I’ll contact my colleague and see if he can provide some insight.

Hmm. I see.

It seems your friend has been doing valuable work in the land of souls. The servants of The Devourer cower in her presence! I imagine that’s a great weight off my colleague’s shoulders.

And although I’d rather not speculate on the affairs of the dead, I should think this Glough person is in for a world of trouble.


Yours,

Harold Death Esq.

(And Muncher)

Dusuri[edit | edit source]

Dear Dusuri,

Lately I've really been getting into hunting down those mysterious hunks of space rock that fall from the sky every so often. It's quite fun tracking them down and chatting with the other adventurers that come across them. The rewards you provide in exchange for the dust from these rocks is certainly a nice incentive; These golden duds are quite stylish, and I've had no trouble keeping stocked up on gems for my adventuring needs thanks to you.

I have to ask though, what do you do with all that stardust? Us human adventurers can't do anything with it on its own, but you claim to specialise in the stuff. I'm just curious what's so useful about this dust that you're willing to part with so many precious gemstones to acquire more of it?

Take care! I'll see you next time I've got more stardust for you.

From Cambria Bold

Dear Cambria Bold,

Glad to hear you’ve been enjoying tracking down those meteors! You’ve saved me and the others a lot of hard work. The kit is nice and shiny, isn’t it? I’ll let Belona know you’re a fan. She smithed it all herself, you know.

Stardust? I study it! It’s packed full of minerals from, well, you know – other worlds. I’ve got this special tool that looks a bit like a reverse telescope, and it lets me get a closer look at the particles that make up the Stardust. The bits and pieces it contains were born in the hearts of dying stars and paint a picture of the universe from its earliest moments. Then it’s just a matter of comparing them to the regular dust we get here in the mines! It's amazing to think that everything - from distant worlds to the dinner on your plate or the cat on the mat - is built from the very same stuff. It humbles me and reminds me that our problems really aren't so big... in the grand scheme of things, at least.

You take care too. I’ll be waiting!


Your friend,

Dusuri

The Bards of Varlamore[edit | edit source]

Dear Reshi, Thomdril and Kendall,

When I was last visiting Kourend, journeying out of Kingstown, I couldn't help but overhear the lovely music echoing throughout your camp. I stopped by and we spoke briefly. You informed me of your travels from the kingdom to the south, and how you were students of the College of Bards.

I wonder if you could tell me a bit more about that? What's the college like? Do many bards come from or pass through there? What's your favourite thing about the place? And what's life like as a bard? I've yet to visit the city of Tempestus where the College resides, but I’ve heard good things.

I must say, I'm quite jealous of your musical talent. I did once try to put on a show for the Fremennik people using their preferred instrument, but I must confess that I resorted to performance-enhancing magic to make up for my lack of skill. Shameful, I know.

Perhaps one day I'll visit the College and get the right tutoring to properly learn the ways of the bard.

Yours sincerely,

GentleTractor

Dear GentleTractor,

Hey, we remember you! Always nice to hear from a fan.

The College is just lovely. I’ve many happy memories from my time there, learning new instruments, memorising the great ballads… nights out in Tempestus… if you’re ever in Varlamore, it’s well worth a visit.

Bards come from all over the world to study there and visit the library. Often they bring their own contributions. That’s what being a bard is all about – travelling the world with your companions and finding new stories to write. Or making up your own.

There’s no shame in a bit of stage fright. Being a bard isn’t easy, and if those Fremenniks were anything like the ones I’ve met, you had some tough competition.

The college is open to everyone with a story to tell… and it sounds like you’ve got quite a few, so I’m sure you’ll fit right in. Maybe we’ll see you there when we’re done with our tour?


See you around,

Reshi

Drill Demon[edit | edit source]

Dear Drill Sergeant,

You look ripped. What's your workout regimen? Do you think Alathazdrar the demon butler could outrun you?

Sincerely, Fruitbooting.

Atteeeeeeeeen-shun!

Private Fruitbooting! You’d have a better grip on the fundamentals of fitness if you actually attended our training sessions! Star jumps! Sit-ups! Push-ups! Jogging! That’s all you need to achieve peak physical health!

As for Alathazdrar – that noodle-limbed ninny couldn’t outrun a snail, and if he has a problem with that he can take it up with me!

Now – drop and give me five! Lest you end up like your muscle-less pal here!

Postie Pete (oh... that's me!)[edit | edit source]

To Postie Pete,

I've seen you on many of your routes delivering your letters. One thing I was curious about was your top secret visit to the Wilderness's Bandit Camp. What were you doing there?! You acted quite suspiciously, especially when you said the Chaos Elemental was behind me and vanished. What are you hiding?

Sincerely, Venomous.

Sorry, Venomous – if I had ears, they’d still be ringing from all that shouting! What’s this about camping?

The Bandit Camp? In the Wilderness?

Oh, er – golly, look at this! There’s one more letter left in the bag. Let’s forget all this secret mission nonsense and have a look.

To Whom It May Concern[edit | edit source]

You can give cats to citizens in West Ardougne in exchange for Death Runes. The citizens claim that they use the cats to hunt rats in the area. The players believe that the cats are eaten by the citizens. Which is it? Yours, Mod Zuko

Dear Mod Zuko,

First of all, how dare the gossipy goblins of Gielinor spread such horrible rumours about our poor, impoverished town? We might live in a plague-infested slum, but we still have our principles! We love cats here in West Ardougne. They might keep themselves to themselves, but we assure you, our cats are hale, healthy, and busy whittling down the mouse population. We’ve hardly had anyone die of the plague lately, and it’s all thanks to our beloved moggies.

Frankly, we are appalled at this accusation, and invite any adventurer who wishes to see how kindly we treat our cats to explore our community-led cat café once it opens to the public.


Yours,

Siv Illian, on behalf of the West Ardougne Cat Appreciation Society


That's all from Postie Pete for now! There will be a new Reddit thread soon where you can submit letters for the next Gazette, so keep your eyes out for that!