User:Daem0z/Sandbox/Swan Song Transcript

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Starting out[edit | edit source]

  • Player: Hello. Lovely day, isn't it?
  • Herman Caranos: Lovely? Oh - er - if you say so. But please excuse me, I really don't have time to chat about the weather.
  • What's the rush?
    • Player: What's the rush?
    • Herman Caranos: Trolls! They're attacking my fishing Colony!
    • Player: Gosh, I didn't know there were any trolls around here.
    • Herman Caranos: These are a sort of sea-dwelling troll. They feed on the monkfish that live in this part of the sea, but just recently they've started invading my Colony!
    • Do you need any help?
      • Player: Do you need any help?
      • Herman Caranos: Well yes, I do. I've done some research about this, and I think our best hope is to get hold of an experienced adventurer.
      • Herman Caranos: In all the legends I've read, brave adventurers have no trouble vanquishing whatever monsters are menacing the helpless settlement.
        • You've been... reading stories about adventurers?
          • Player: You've been... reading stories about adventurers?
          • Herman Caranos: Yes, I've done my research very carefully. I've always made important decisions based on careful analysis of whatever documents are available to me on the topic. For example, I chose this site for my Fishing Colony because
          • Herman Caranos: records show this part of the sea to be a prime site for catching monkfish. I don't just fumble along like an amateur!
          • Player: ... fair enough, I suppose! Anyway, you think you need an adventurer?
          • Herman Caranos: Yes, that's right. A brave adventurer with plenty of experience in this sort of work.
          • (Shows previous options)
        • I'm a brave adventurer! Can I try?
          • Player: I'm a brave adventurer! Can I try?
          • Herman Caranos: You? I hadn't thought of that... let's have a look at you...
          • Herman Caranos: Hmmm... You're not what I'm looking for, but... [amount] Quest Points is really rather a lot...
          • Herman Caranos: Ok, the Piscatoris Fishing Colony gratefully accepts your offer of help. When the Colony is safe you shall be handsomely rewarded.
          • Player: Oh goody, I love rewards! Now, how can I help?
          • Herman Caranos: Well, as qualified as you undoubtedly are, I believe we're going to need a truly expert adventurer if the Colony is to stand a chance.
          • If the player has not completed Legends' Quest:
            • Player: Expert adventurer? I'll wager I've had more adventures than you've had pickled gherkins!
          • If the player has completed Legends' Quest:
            • Player: Expert adventurer? I'll have you know I'm in the Guild of Legends!
          • Herman Caranos: If you could just stop blowing your own trumpet for a minute...
          • Player: ...
          • Herman Caranos: Excellent! Now, in far-away Misthalin there lives one of the greatest adventurers of all time.
          • Player: ... this better be good...
          • Herman Caranos: His name is lost in the mists of time, but you shouldn't have much trouble finding the Wise Old Man of Draynor Village.
          • Player: Him? What in the heck do you want with HIM?
          • Herman Caranos: Oh, do you know him?
          • Player: Yes! He's mad! You know he smashed his way into a bank and stole a load of stuff?
          • Herman Caranos: Ah well, we must forgive him his little foibles.
          • Player: And you want me to fetch this Wise Old Man?
          • Herman Caranos: You don't sound convinced. Look, I'll tell you what I've read about him...
          • Herman talks about the Wise Old Man's adventures.
          • A cutscene shows him killing an ogre shaman
          • Wise Old Man: Take THAT!
          • Ogre Shaman: Ssssss!
          • The cutscene changes to show him killing the drunken dwarf
          • Drunken Dwarf: 'Ello matey!
          • Drunken Dwarf: Don't ignore your mate!
          • Drunken Dwarf: Hey, matey!
          • Wise Old Man: I AM NOT YOUR MATE!
          • The cutscene changes to show him killing the Shaikahan
          • Wise Old Man: Aaah!
          • Shaikahan: RAAAaaarrgh!
          • Wise Old Man: Lie still, and trouble us no more.
          • The cutscene changes to show him fighting the Kalphite Queen
          • Wise Old Man: Avaunt, foul fiend!.
          • Wise Old Man: Oh deary me...
          • The cutscene changes to show him fighting Dad but he gets knocked back, smashing the camera and ending the cutscene
          • Player: Right... so you want me to fetch this old man who used to be a great adventurer.
          • Herman Caranos: Yes, that's right. And do watch out for the sea trolls!
          • (End of dialogue)
        • I'll leave you to it, then.
          • (Same as below)
    • I'll leave you to it, then.
      • (Same as below)
  • I'll leave you to it, then.
    • Player: I'll leave you to it, then.
    • Herman Caranos: Fine, fine.
    • (End of dialogue)


Talking to Herman again:

  • Herman Caranos: Ah, [player name]. I was wondering where you'd got to.
  • Player: What was it you wanted me to do?
  • Herman Caranos: Go to Draynor Village and fetch the Wise Old Man to help save the Colony!
  • Player: Couldn't I just save it myself?
  • Herman Caranos: No! Now go and do what I told you!
  • (End of dialogue)

Talking to the Wise Old Man[edit | edit source]

  • Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
  • Player: You used to be a famous adventurer, didn't you?
  • Wise Old Man: Heh heh! Yes, I suppose you could say that. But that was all quite a long time ago. I haven't been on what you'd call a 'quest' for a while.
  • Player: Does that mean you'd be interested if someone asked for your help?
  • Wise Old Man: Oh? What exactly had you in mind?
  • Player: Herman Caranos of the Piscatoris Fishing Colony thinks he needs you to save his colony from a tribe of attacking sea trolls.
  • Wise Old Man: Hmmm... so I haven't been forgotten... and the world once again is calling for my aid...
  • Player: Well, it's just one man who smells of fish, not exactly the whole world...
  • Wise Old Man: ... yet this could be the opportunity I've been waiting for...
  • Player: ... yawn...
  • Wise Old Man: ... but I'm a lot older than I used to be, do I still have the strength? Should I retire now, or can I do just one more quest?
  • Player: If you're not feeling up to it, I'll leave you alone.
  • Wise Old Man: Yes, I'll do it! This can be my final adventure, my last great quest. Saving this colony shall be my swan song.
  • Player: Swan song?
  • Wise Old Man: Legend tells us that a swan, before it dies, sings a song of outstanding beauty as a fitting conclusion to its graceful life. This adventure will be my swan song.
  • Player: You're going to sing a song and then snuff it? Maybe I should tell Herman you've flipped...
  • Wise Old Man: No, you ignoramus! I shall bring my adventuring days to a dramatic close by saving this colony!
  • Player: Great. So long as you're not going to sing.
  • Wise Old Man: Yes, that's right, I'm not going to sing. Anyway, I shall need some supplies from you.
  • Player: Oh yes? What do you want?
  • Wise Old Man: I'm rather short of runes. If you could fetch me 5 Blood runes, 10 Lava runes and 10 Mist runes, I'll be able to set off.
  • If player already has them with them:
    • Player: I just happen to have those with me!
    • Wise Old Man: Gosh, you're very efficient!
    • Player: Sometimes I amaze even myself.
    • Wise Old Man: Ok, hand 'em over.
    • Player: Here you go...
    • Wise Old Man: Excellent. I'll see you outside the Colony. Don't forget to arm yourself - it could be dangerous!
    • The Wise Old Man teleports away
    • (End of dialogue)
  • If the player does not have the required runes:
    • (Missing transcript)
    • (End of dialogue)


Talking to the Wise Old Man again without the required runes:

    • Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
    • Player: Hello.
    • Wise Old Man: I'm guessing you haven't got all the runes I needed, have you?
    • Player: No, not yet.
    • Wise Old Man: Well, do get a move on! I need 5 Blood runes, 10 Lava runes and 10 Mist runes, otherwise I'll be no use in a fight.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • With the required runes:
    • Player: Here are those runes you wanted.
    • Wise Old Man: Ok, hand 'em over.
    • Player: Here you go...
    • (Player gives the runes to the Wise Old Man.)
    • Wise Old Man:
    • (Same as above)

Returning to the colony[edit | edit source]

  • Wise Old Man: Hello again, [player name]! I must thank you for persuading me to come - I feel quite invigorated in the sea breeze!
  • Player: Oh - er - good. Well, Herman must be inside the Colony now, so we should probably go in.
  • Wise Old Man: Are you sure you're ready? I can hear creatures moving around in the trees, and we might have to do some fighting soon.
  • I'm ready to fight.
    • Player: I'm ready to fight.
    • Wise Old Man: Excellent. I think this little tunnel will lead us there.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • I should go and get ready first.
    • Player: I should go and get ready first.
    • Wise Old Man: Yes, better safe than sorry! We can go through this little tunnel when you're ready.
    • (End of dialogue)


Talking to him again:

  • Wise Old Man: Just hop into the tunnel when you're ready.
  • (End of dialogue)

Outside the colony[edit | edit source]

Right after entering the tunnel:

  • Wise Old Man: Wait - I think something's coming!
  • Wise Old Man: Wait - I think something's coming!
  • Sea trolls emerge from the sea
  • (End of dialogue)


Attempting to talk to him during the battle:

  • Wise Old Man: First fight, talk later!


When the Wise Old Man runs out of runes:

  • Wise Old Man: Blast - I'm out of runes!


After defeating the sea trolls

  • Player: Got them all!


Speaking to the Wise Old Man after defeating the sea trolls:

  • Wise Old Man: Well, it all seems to have gone smoothly so far!
  • Player: Yes, we're both still alive.
  • (End of dialogue)

Inside the colony[edit | edit source]

After entering the colony:

  • Wise Old Man: Please go and tell Herman I'm here. Someone's sure to know where to find him.
  • The Wise Old Man teleports away
  • (End of dialogue)


Talking to Franklin:

  • Franklin Caranos: Ah, [player name]! Herman told me to expect you. You'll find him in his office by the eastern wall of the Colony.
  • Player: Thanks I'll go there now.
  • (End of dialogue)


Talking to Arnold:

  • Arnold Lydspor: So, [player name]! I did hear from Herr Caranos that you were to our Colony coming. The Director in his office is waiting for you.
  • Player: Thanks, I'll go there now.
  • (End of dialogue)


Attempting bank with Arnold:

  • Arnold Lydspor: No way can I send items to bank for you with great big trolls outside! You save Colony, then Arnold open bank for you.
  • (End of dialogue)


Attempting to trade with Arnold:

  • Arnold Lydspor: I not have spare stuff to trade with you now. Maybe we trade after you save Colony, ja?
  • (End of dialogue)


Attempting to collect from Arnold:

  • Arnold Lydspor: No way can I let you collect stuffsies with great big trolls outside! You save Colony, then Arnold help you.
  • (End of dialogue)


Using the poll Booth:

  • Arnold Lydspor: That thing broken. Arnold fix it when Colony all safe.
  • (End of dialogue)


Using the deposit Box:

  • There are big trolls outside, focus your attention on that instead of trying to deposit items!
  • (End of dialogue)


Talking to Herman:

  • Herman Caranos: Finally you've arrived! Did you bring the Wise Old Man?
  • The Wise Old Man teleports in
  • Wise Old Man: Indeed, I am here!
  • Herman Caranos: Excellent! You have no idea how grateful I am!
  • Player: Talking of gratitude, I believe you mentioned some kind of reward...
  • Herman Caranos: Reward? Well... we've got to discuss the Colony's defences now. Perhaps you could go and make yourself useful around the Colony? I'm sure my brother, Franklin, could do with a bit of help. Arnold, the storemaster, said he
  • Herman Caranos: needed an extra pair of hands too. He's in one of the big storage sheds.
  • Player: Ok, I help out, then I get a reward?
  • Herman Caranos: Yes, yes... now please excuse us.
  • (End of dialogue)


Talking to Herman again:

  • Player: Yoohoo to you two!
  • Herman Caranos: [player name]? Have you helped Franklin and Arnold yet?
  • If the player hasn't helped either of them:
    • Player: No, I haven't.
    • Herman Caranos: Please do so!
    • (End of dialogue)
  • If the player has started helping either of them:
    • Player: I'm on the case, no problems.
    • Herman Caranos: That's what I like to hear. Off you go...
    • (End of dialogue)


Talking to Wise Old Man again:

  • Wise Old Man: Hello, [player name].
  • Player:(Same as above)

Helping Franklin[edit | edit source]

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  • Player: Herman said you wanted a hand with something.
  • Franklin Caranos: Well, yes, I do. Are you any good at smithing?
  • Player: Oh yes, I'm quite an expert.
  • Franklin Caranos: Ok, we'll see. Now, the trolls managed to smash part of our western wall earlier today. We need 5 sheets of iron to patch it.
  • Player: Won't iron go all rusty with all the salt water around here?
  • Franklin Caranos: Yes, but it'll do for a few weeks, and we haven't the time or materials to do a proper job just now.
  • Player: Alrighty. So where do I get sheets of iron?
  • Franklin Caranos: I've got a press in my shred. You can use it to heat up some iron bars and roll them into sheets. You'll need to fill its firebox first - stick some logs in it and light them.
  • Franklin Caranos: When you've got 5 iron sheets, hammer them onto the damage wall.
  • Player: Why do I need to heat the bars? I've been cold- working metal all my life, and I've never bothered heating it.
  • Franklin Caranos: How odd! I'd have expected all your products to be horribly brittle.
  • Player: I guess I'm just talented.
  • Franklin Caranos: Anyway, off you go. (End of dialogue)


Attempting to flatten iron bars before lighting the firebox

  • Player: It's not hot enough to work at the moment.


Talking to Franklin again:

  • Franklin Caranos: How are you getting on?
  • (Before lighting the firebox:)
    • Option: I'm working on it.
      • Player: I'm working on it.
      • Franklin Caranos: Good, good.
    • Option: I can't remember what you wanted me to do.
      • Player: I can't remember what you wanted me to do.
      • Franklin Caranos: Put some logs into the metal press in my shed, and light them. Then feed 5 iron bars into the press to roll them into sheets. After that, you'll need to hammer them onto the damaged wall. (End of dialogue)
      • (If you have lost your hammer)
        • Player: Also I think I need a hammer.
        • Franklin Caranos: Hammer? Not a problem - here's mine. (End of dialogue)
  • (After lighting the firebox:)
    • Player: Well, the press is working now, but I still have to patch the broken sections.
  • (Before making any sheets:)
    • Franklin Caranos: Franklin Caranos: I hope you don't have too much trouble with that press.(End of dialogue)
  • (After partially fixing the wall):
    • Player: Well, the press is working now, but I still have to patch [Amount] sections.
    • (After making some sheets:)
      • Franklin Caranos: I think you'll need to make [Amount] more iron sheets first. (End of dialogue)
    • (With the correct amount of sheets:)
      • Franklin Caranos: At least you've got enough iron sheets. (End of dialogue)
  • (After fixing the wall:)
  • Player: I've fixed all 5 bits of wall.
  • (Before helping Arnold:)
    • Franklin Caranos: Wonderful - thank you very much! Now you can turn your full attention to help Arnold...
    • Franklin Caranos: Oh, and if you've got any of those iron sheets left, I'll be happy to buy them off you once the Colony is safe.
    • Player: This is turning into a lot of work... (End of dialogue)
  • (After helping Arnold:)
    • Franklin Caranos: You should return to my brother, Herman, and tell him you've finished helping me and Arnold.
    • Franklin Caranos: (Same as above)
    • Player: Oh good. Now maybe Herman will give me that reward he mentioned! (End of dialogue)


  • Using hammer on the broken wall:
  • Player: YAAAAARRRRGH!
  • You feel a lot calmer now, but it didn't achieve anything else. Maybe you should be using the iron sheet on the wall instead.

Helping Arnold[edit | edit source]

  • Arnold Lydspor: You come to speak to me, [Player]?
  • Player: Yes... Herman said you needed me to do something?
  • Arnold Lydspor: Ah, that is good. I the storemaster am for this Piscatoris Fishing Colony, and our stores are - ahah - not so good. Indeed, our stores contain not a bit of food!
  • Arnold Lydspor: This a catastrophe may become, as difficult it may be to fish while the trolls outside are waiting, and our bellies soon shall rumble loudly!
  • Player: Riiiiight...
  • Arnold Lydspor: But now you come here to help Arnold! A good and sturdy warrior you must be indeed to have entered our Colony in these times! So you can the fishing do for us!
  • Player: You want me to catch fish?
  • Arnold Lydspor: Ja, this is so. But the fish must then be stored, or stinking rotten they become! So the fish you bring must be shiny fresh!
  • Player: Where do I get fresh fish?
  • Arnold Lydspor: The monkfish in these waters swim, this is why Herr Caranos build his Colony here.
  • Arnold Lydspor: You go catch 5 fresh monkfish from sea over in north- west corner. If you bring stinking old monkfish, Arnold know about it, and Arnold not take them!
  • (If the player does not have a net)
    • Player: I'll need a net or something like that.
    • Arnold Lydspor: Ja, is not a problem.
  • Player: Ok, five fresh monkfish coming up.
  • Arnold Lydspor: Big thanks, [Player]. When Colony safe, Herman reward you good. (End of dialogue)


Attempting to take fish from nearby barrels:

  • Player: I think I should maybe catch my own.


Talking to Arnold again:

  • Arnold Lydspor: You bring me fresh monkfish?
  • (With no fish:)
    • Player: No, I haven't got any.
    • Arnold Lydspor: Well, you go to sea at north-west corner of Colony and catch nice fresh monkfish for Arnold, ja?
    • Player: Ok. (End of dialogue)
  • (With the wrong type of fish:)
    • Player: I've got this fish...
    • Arnold Lydspor: That not monkfish! Go to sea at north-west corner of Colony and catch MONKFISH! (End of dialogue)


Talking to Arnold after fishing:

  • Player: Arnold, I've got some monkfish for you.
  • (Before cooking monkfish:)
    • Arnold Lydspor: This? This fresh, but it no good to me raw! You go use range in kitchen! (End of dialogue)
  • (With some cooked monkfish:)
    • Arnold Lydspor: Ah, lovely fresh monkfish straight from the sea! Now you bring me [amount] more, ja?
    • Player: Right, right. (End of dialogue)
  • (After giving Arnold all 5 cooked monkfish:)
    • (Before helping Franklin:)
      • Arnold Lydspor: This is superb, [Player]! Now I store these carefully, and you go help little Frankie.
      • Player: (missing transcript) (End of dialogue)
    • (After helping Franklin:)
      • Arnold Lydspor: This is superb, [Player]! Now I store these carefully, and you go tell Herr Caranos.
      • Player: Oh good, maybe he'll reward me now.(End of dialogue)


Talking to Arnold again:

  • (Before helping Franklin:)
    • Arnold Lydspor: Your fresh monkfish superb! But now you go help little Frankie, ja?
    • Player: Oh yes. (End of dialogue)
  • (After helping Franklin:)
    • (missing transcript) (End of dialogue)

Back to Herman[edit | edit source]

Talking to the Wise Old Man:

  • Wise Old Man: Hello, Daem0z.
  • Player: (Same as below)


Talking to the Herman:

  • Player: I've finished helping Franklin and Arnold now.
  • Herman Caranos: Or - er - that's good...
  • Player: Does this mean you're going to reward me now?
  • Herman Caranos: There's something else I need you to do first.
  • Player: There always is.
  • Herman Caranos: Well, the Wise Old Man and I have discussed the situation, and he's come up with a plan...
  • Wise Old Man: Yes, that's right. The sheer number of trolls means that the best hope for the Colony is to gather our forces and wipe out all the trolls at once.
  • Player: Well, that sounds like a nice plan. One big fight, no more trolls.
  • Herman Caranos: There's a slight problem, though.
  • Wise Old Man: Yes, with the bit about gathering our forces.
  • Player: Let me guess - you haven't got any forces to gather!
  • Herman Caranos: I sent most of the colonists away for their own safety when the trolls started attacking the Colony.
  • Wise Old Man: So what you need to do, [Player], is to fetch us an army!
  • Player: ???
  • Wise Old Man: In the Wizards' Guild in Yanille, Wizard Frumscone always seems to have a limitless supply of zombies and similar creatures. If you can persuade him to lend us an army, we should be able to defeat these trolls.
  • Player: Ok, so I just need to go see Wizard Frumscone in Yanille?
  • Herman Caranos: Yes, please hurry! (End of dialogue)


Talking to the Wise Old Man again:

  • Wise Old Man: Hello, Daem0z.
  • Player: Hello, old man. (Same as below)


Talking to the Herman again:

  • Herman Caranos: Daem0z - have you brought an army?
  • Option: No, I'm afraid I haven't asked Wizard Frumscone yet.
    • Player: No, I'm afraid I haven't asked Wizard Frumscone yet.
    • Wise Old Man: Do get a move on, Daem0z! (End of dialogue)
  • Option: What was it you asked me to do?
    • Player: What was it you asked me to do?
    • Herman Caranos: Go to the Wizards' Guild in Yanille and ask Wizard Frumscone to lend us an army to save the Colony!
    • Player: Right, I know it was something like that.
    • Wise Old Man: Do get a move on, Daem0z! (End of dialogue)


Talking to the Franklin again:

  • Franklin Caranos: Thanks a lot for your help earlier, but I have a lot to do, so please excuse me... (End of dialogue)


Talking to the Arnold again:

  • Arnold Lydspor: It good to see you, Daem0z, but many things I have to do with lovely fresh monkfish you bring me earlier. (End of dialogue)

Talking to Wizard Frumscone[edit | edit source]

  • Wizard Frumscone: Do you like my magic Zombies? Feel free to kill them, there's plenty more where these came from!
  • Player: Hello. I need your help with something...
  • Wizard Frumscone: Oho? Very well, young man, what can I do for you?
  • Player: The Piscatoris Fishing Colony, somewhere north of the Gnome Stronghold, is under attack by sea trolls, and they've sent me to ask for an army.
  • Wizard Frumscone: An army, heh? But I haven't GOT an army!
  • Player: They said you might lend us some of your zombies.
  • Wizard Frumscone: What? This is a combat training facility, not a library! My magic zombies are not for loan.
  • Player: So you can't help the Colony?
  • Wizard Frumscone: I'm jolly well not lending them an army! If I did that for you, I'd have to do that for everyone, and I'd never get a moment's peace again!
  • Player: So what should I tell the Colony? They've got to give up all their work because you won't help?
  • Wizard Frumscone: Actually that does seem rather harsh...
  • Wizard Frumscone: I have an idea!
  • Player: Yes?
  • Wizard Frumscone: Now, you mustn't breathe a word of this to Zavistic or Disentor upstairs, but I know a man who could help you get an army.
  • Player: Great! Is he a Guild wizard too?
  • Wizard Frumscone: No, his work is completely different. He's a necromancer.
  • Player: Necromancy? I don't want anything to do with that!
  • Wizard Frumscone: He's not going to have you doing any of the actual spellcasting for it. You'll probably just have to collect some weird item from him and take it to the Colony.
  • Player: I don't know if I still want to do this.
  • Wizard Frumscone: If you don't want to continue the quest, just walk away and think no more about it. But I'm sure you won't have to do anything evil or unnatural yourself.
  • Wizard Frumscone: So what's it to be?
  • Option: Enough of this - I'm off.
    • Wizard Frumscone: Understandable. But if you ever change your mind, just come and ask me. (End of dialogue)
  • Option: I'll see what the necromancer needs me to do.
    • Wizard Frumscone: Excellent. His name's Malignius Mortifer. You'll find him somewhere south of Falador.
    • Player: Can't I ask a different necromancer? There's one not so far away.
    • Wizard Frumscone: Hah! Necromancers aren't helpful people. I don't know of many - most guild wizards won't have anything to do with their practices. I think Malignius will help only because he loves showing off his powers.(End of dialogue)


Talking to Frumscone after declining originally:

  • Player: You said you knew a man who could help me save the Piscatoris Fishing Colony.
  • Wizard Frumscone: Oh yes. Now, you mustn't mention this to Zavistic or Distentor, but he's a necromancer.
  • Player: Necromancy? I don't want anything to do with that! (Same as above)


Talking to Frumscone again:

  • Wizard Frumscone: Do you like my magic Zombies? Feel free to kill them, there's plenty more where these came from!
  • Player: Hello again.
  • Wizard Frumscone: Daem0z? Have you spoken to Malignius Mortifer?
  • Player: I haven't asked him yet.
  • Wizard Frumscone: He'll probably still be wandering around south of Falador whenever you do want to speak to him.


Talking to Herman again before talking to Malignius:

  • Herman Caranos: Daem0z - have you brought an army?
  • Player: Wizard Frumscone wouldn't help, but he told me where I could find a wizard who might help. I have to look for him just south of Falador.
  • Herman Caranos: Off you go!
  • Player: By the way, where's the Wise Old Man gone?
  • Herman Caranos: He said he'd be back in a minute. But never mind him - go to Falador and talk to this wizard!

Talking to Malignius Mortifer[edit | edit source]

  • Malignius Mortifer: So, [Player], your curiosity leads you to speak to me?
  • Player: I need help with saving a fishing colony. [all other options are normal character dialogue]
  • Malignius Mortifer: Hahaha! You want MY help? HAHAHA!
  • Player: ... um... The Piscatoris Fishing Colony needs an army to defend them against attacking trolls.
  • Malignius Mortifer: And of all the people in the world, you came to ask ME? HAHAHA!
  • Player: ... um... pretty please?
  • Malignius Mortifer: Oh, I'll help! I'll give you GOOD help!
  • Player: ... um... thanks, I think...
  • Malignius Mortifer: An army, eh? I can raise you a lovely army of the undead skeletal magi! That'd be just right, wouldn't it?
  • Player: I'm not going to have to do anything... evil, am I?
  • Malignius Mortifer: No, I'll keep the fun bits for myself. You'll just have to get a few things for me.
  • Player: Alright - what do you need?
  • Malignius Mortifer: Firstly, I need 7 bones, the normal sort you get from people and small monsters.
  • (if you already have the bones)
    • Player: I have some here!
    • Malignius Mortifer: Hah! And I thought only necromancers and jogres carried bones around with them! Very well, hand 'em over.
    • Player: What should I do now for the quest?
    • Malignius Mortifer: From the bones you have given me, I shall make bone seeds. These will contain the essence of your army. But you will need some way to carry the seeds.
    • Player: What had you in mind?
    • Malignius Mortifer: You must go to the Crafting Guild to ask the advice of the master crafters. There are quite a few of them there, and one of them's sure to help. (If the player has a brown apron, dialogue ends)
    • (If the player does not have a brown apron)
      • Player: I doubt they'll let me in there without a brown apron.
      • Malignius Mortifer: Here, take this one.
      • Player: Thanks! (End of dialogue)
  • (if you don't have them with you)
    • Player: (Missing transcript) (End of dialogue)


Talking to Malignius again:

  • Option: Could you spare me a brown apron? [Only available if player has lost their apron]
    • Player: Can you spare me a brown apron so I can go to the Crafting Guild to ask the master crafters about transporting bone seeds?
    • Malignius Mortifer: Yes, yes.
    • Player: Thanks! (End of dialogue)
  • Option: What am I meant to be doing for the Colony? [All other options are normal character dialogue]
    • Player: What am I meant to be doing for the Colony?
    • Malignius Mortifer: Is there something wrong with your memory? I told you to go to the Crafting Guild to ask the master crafters for advice on transporting bone seeds.

Talking to a Master Crafter[edit | edit source]

Any other Master Crafter (including the one with a Skillcape):

  • Master Crafter: Hello, and welcome to the Crafting Guild. Accomplished crafters from all over the land come here to use our top notch workshops.
  • Player: Can you tell me anything about transporting bone seeds?
  • Master Crafter: Bone seeds? What are bone seeds?
  • Player: A necromancer is going to bind the essence of an undead army into some bone seeds for me if I can get a container to carry them in.
  • Master Crafter: That's horrible - ask someone else!(End of dialogue)


Talking to the non-descript Master Crafter closest to the door:

  • Master Crafter: Yeah?
  • Player: Can you tell me anything about transporting bone seeds?
  • Master Crafter: Woah dude! That's, like, some seriously maximum stuff you're talking.
  • Player: But do you know what I should carry them in?
  • Master Crafter: Yeah, you just need a pot with a lid. Do you know how to make pot lids?
  • (If the player has spoken to Tassie Slipcast before:)
    • Player: Yes, a woman called Tassie taught me.
    • Master Crafter: Tassie Slipcast? She's one groovy lady.
    • Player: Yes, yes, very nice. So if I get a pot with a lid, I'll be able to carry bone seeds safely in it?
    • Master Crafter: Yeah, yeah. You need to chill out more, dude.
    • Player: ...(End of dialogue)
  • (If the player hasn't spoken to Tassie Slipcast before:)
    • Player: (Missing transcript)'(End of dialogue)

Back to Malignius Mortifer[edit | edit source]

  • Option: I've spoken to the master crafter... [all other options are normal character dialogue]
    • Player: I've spoken to the master crafter about a container for transporting bone seeds.
    • Malignius Mortifer: Ah, excellent. HAHAHA! Have you got such a container?
    • (If the player doesn't have a pot and pot lid)
      • Player: No, I haven't got one.
      • Malignius Mortifer: Then get one!
    • (If the player has a pot and pot lid)
      • Player: [if you have it] Yes, I have it here.
      • Malignius Mortifer: I have raised you an army and bound them into bone seeds for you!
      • Player: ... um... Thanks!
      • Malignius Mortifer: Don't mention it, it was fun! HAHAHA!
      • Malignius Mortifer: Now I will seal the seeds into your pot.
      • Player: Thank you. So what do I do with them?
      • Malignius Mortifer: Take the pot to the Colony and open it! HAHAHA! Just don't open it before you get there.
      • Player: Suppose I - ahem - need another one later?
      • Malignius Mortifer: Bring me another of these pots with a lid and I will give you more bone seeds.
      • [The chatbox says "Malignius unexpectedly casts a spell on you" as he teleports the player back to the Piscatoris Fishing Colony]
      • Malignius Mortifer: HAHAHA!

Chatting before the final battle[edit | edit source]

Talking to Franklin:

  • Franklin Caranos: Herman tells me you've been fetching us an army.
  • Player: Something like that!
  • Franklin Caranos: Interesting. I didn't know magic could do that.
  • Player: You learn something new every day.


Talking to Arnold:

  • Arnold Lydspor: Daem0z! I hear you fetch mighty army for us!
  • Player: Something like that!
  • Arnold Lydspor: You go take them to Herr Caranos quickly!

The Final Battle[edit | edit source]

  • Wise Old Man: Hello, [Player].
  • Player: Hello, old man.
  • Herman Caranos: [Player] - have you brought an army?
  • Player: Yes, I've got it here!
  • Herman Caranos: You've got what?
  • Player: The army's in this pot!
  • Herman Caranos: Have you been drinking?
  • Player: No, really, the wizard told me he'd put bone seeds in this pot, and when I opened it the army would come forth from the bone seeds.
  • Wise Old Man: Frumscone gave you bone seeds?
  • Player: Oh... um...
  • Wise Old Man: Hmmmph. I don't much like the sound of this. I certainly won't be sending anyone to Frumscone for help again!
  • Player: Well... it wasn't exactly...
  • Herman Caranos: You can talk about that later! Now we've got an army we can get on with beating the trolls!
  • Wise Old Man: Well, I suppose so. [Player], this could be VERY dangerous. Do you feel ready to fight?
  • Player: Aren't you going to do the fighting?
  • Wise Old Man: Yes, of course. But you, my trusty sidekick, are in this adventure with me, and if I'm going forth into battle, you should make sure you're ready too.
  • Option: I'm ready. Let's fight!
    • Player: I'm ready. Let's fight!
    • Wise Old Man: Good. May this, my final adventure, end well! (Ends dialogue and starts cutscene)
  • Option: I'd like to get some stuff together first.
    • Player: I'd like to get some stuff together first.
    • Herman Caranos: Come back to us as soon as you're ready. (End of dialogue)


A cutscene opens by showing the player opening the jar, causing an army of skeleton magi to appear and fight off the incoming sea trolls.
  • Player: The trolls are dead!
  • Wise Old Man: They weren't very tough.
A sea troll general appears from the ocean.
  • Player: Oh... dear...
  • Wise Old Man: Leave this to me...
The Wise Old Man does battle with the sea troll general, deftly avoiding its strikes before finishing it off with his powerful magic.
  • Wise Old Man: Aahh, that was fun.
  • Player: How did you do that?
  • Wise Old Man: Talent, my dear/(Missing transcript for male).
A spell flies in from off-screen, hitting the Wise Old Man, knocking him to the ground. The Sea Troll Queen appears.
  • Wise Old Man: I... can't... move... Daem0z, you must fight this for me...

Finishing Up[edit | edit source]

After killing the Sea Troll Queen:

  • Player: Now I've killed that THING, Herman's sure to reward me! (End of dialogue)


Talking to Arnold:

  • Arnold Lydspor: You kick big troll queenie pretty hard, ja?
  • Player: Yes, I don't think you'll have any more trouble with the trolls in future.
  • Arnold Lydspor: Piscatoris Colony owe you big-time for your help. You go see Hermie - maybe he got something for you.
  • Player: 'Hermie'?
  • Arnold Lydspor: Herr Herman Caranos. I call him 'Hermie' when him not listening. Sometimes I call him worse things, but not today. (End of dialogue)


Talking to Franklin:

  • Franklin Caranos: I say, you certainly gave that Troll Queen a good thrashing!
  • Player: Yes, no more trouble from her.
  • Franklin Caranos: I think Herman would like to talk to you in his office. We all owe you so much.
  • Player: Ok, I'll go and see Herman. (End of dialogue)


Talking to Ramara du Croissant:

  • Everyone else: [Player]? Monsieur Caranos wishes to see you in 'is office. Please, go to 'im!
  • Player: Thanks, I'll go see him. (End of dialogue)


Talking to Everyone else:

  • Everyone else: [Player]? Mr Caranos said he wanted to see you in his office. I wouldn't keep him waiting if I were you!
  • Player: Thanks, I'll go see him. (End of dialogue)


Talking to Herman one last time:

  • Player: I've defeated the Sea Troll Queen!
  • Wise Old Man: Your fight was truly magnificent, [Player]! Congratulations!
  • Herman Caranos: [Player], how can I ever thank you? You have saved my Fishing Colony from utter destruction!
  • Player: Well, you mentioned something about a reward?
  • Herman Caranos: Of course, of course!
  • Wise Old Man: I think you've earned a little something from me, too.
  • Player: Ooh, goody! Thanks, old man! Um... can I have your hat?
  • Wise Old Man: 'Old man'... yes, I am old. That creature nearly killed me - I have never been so close to defeat.
  • Player: Aww, cheer up - we won! But can I have your hat as my reward?
  • Wise Old Man: Yes, we won... YOU won... It is definitely time I retired.
  • Player: So that's the end of your adventuring? Also, how about that hat of yours?
  • Wise Old Man: Well, I'm sure I'll find some way to keep myself busy. But yes, this has been my last quest. My swan song.
  • Player: It's been... nice working with you! It'd be even nicer if you'd give me that hat...
  • Wise Old Man: It's been a pleasure working with you too. Do pop in to see me in Draynor soon! I leave you with my blessing... [he teleports away]
  • Herman Caranos: Oh, he's gone. I hope he enjoys his retirement.
  • Player: HE DIDN'T GIVE ME HIS HAT!
  • Herman Caranos: It's only a hat!
  • Player: !!!
  • Player: Anyway, you were going to reward me too?
  • Herman Caranos: Oh yes, of course! You are hereby welcome to visit the Piscatoris Fishing Colony at any time and make full use of our fishing spots!
  • Player: Why is it better to fish here than in Catherby or the Fishing Guild?
  • Herman Caranos: Ah, I'm glad you asked that! You see, this is the only known place where you can catch monkfish!
  • Player: Ok, so I can catch monkfish. Um... thanks?!
  • Herman Caranos: Yes - there's good eating on a monkfish. They heal more health than the swordfish and lobsters most adventurers carry around, but they're easier to catch than sharks.
  • Player: I suppose that could be useful.
  • Herman Caranos: Indeed! I'm sure Arnold will help you send your monkfish to your bank account. Also, seaweed accumulates in the nets down by the shore, which you might find useful. Franklin says it's much quicker than trying to gather it on Entrana.
  • Player: Maybe if I ever want to do glassblowing again...
  • Herman Caranos: Finally, I'd like to give you a little token of my thanks.
  • Player: Thank you very much!
  • Herman Caranos: No, thank YOU!
QUEST COMPLETE