Transcript of 2014 Goblin Invasion

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This page contains the transcript of the 2014 Goblin Invasion.
The content below is copied verbatim from Old School RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.
This transcript involves dialogue with Guard Recruiter, Goblin Recruiter, Goblin (2014 Goblin Invasion), Painted Goblin, Green Guard, General Danknuck, and the player.

Pre-event

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Guard side

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  • Guard Recruiter: Sorry, not now. I'm very busy, try talking to me again in a few days. I might have more time.
  • (End of dialogue)

Goblin side

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  • Goblin Recruiter: Stop disturbing me, human. Me busy, talk soon.
  • (End of dialogue)

Stage 1

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Trying to identify or capture before picking a side

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  • Talk to either the Guard or Goblin recruiter to take part in this event.

Guard side

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  • Guard Recruiter: Another recruit looking to enlist in D.U.N.G?
  • Player: D.U.N.G?
  • Guard Recruiter: Yes, the Defences United against Nasty Goblins.
  • Player: How come I've never heard of them before?
  • Guard Recruiter: Okay, I made it up. It's my first day and I wanted to promote a united attitude.
  • Guard Recruiter: We suspect there's a Goblin uprising on the horizon and the Goblins are sending spies to seek out weak spots in the city.
  • Guard Recruiter: Will you join us in locating and defending Falador?
  • Do you want to enlist with the Guards?
  • Yes
    • Player: I'm in.
    • Guard Recruiter: Good. Your mission, should you one day have a choice of accepting it, is to locate and capture any Goblins you suspect of being spies.
    • Guard Recruiter: We want to interrogate them and find out what they're up to!
    • An interface will be open during the period of this event when ever you're in the event area. Do you want to toggle this off?
    • Yes
    • No
  • No
    • Player: Not for now, thanks.
    • Guard Recruiter: Fine, but don't let the destruction of Falador sit on your conscience.
    • (End of dialogue)

If aligned with the guards

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  • Guard Recruiter: No time to lose, recruit, identify those Goblin spies as fast as you can!
  • (End of dialogue)

If aligned with the goblins

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  • Guard Recruiter: How could you! I hope you're serving as an informant on the inside of the Goblin front you traitor!
  • (End of dialogue)

Goblin side

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  • Goblin Recruiter: Puny human, you want to enlist in Goblin invasion?
  • Player: Goblin Invasion?
  • Goblin Recruiter: Yes. After defeat last year, we're rising up again to defeat smaller more stupid town this time.
  • Goblin Recruiter: Our intelligence suggests town has spies who try to see what we Goblins are up to.
  • Player: Goblins and intelligence; two words I'd never of put in the same sentence.
  • Goblin Recruiter: Shut up human, we have spies too ya'know. You joining us or what?
  • Do you want to enlist with the Goblins?
  • Yes
    • Player: Yeah, I fancy myself on the rebellious side.
    • Goblin Recruiter: Good. Now go to stupid small town of Falador and find there[sic] stupid spies. They threaten our mission of takin' over.
    • An interface will be open during the period of this event when ever you're in the event area. Do you want to toggle this off?
    • Yes
    • No
  • No
    • Player: No thanks, I'm not one for anarchy.
    • Goblin Recruiter: Fine, stupid human, as long as you not join stupid Falador.
    • (End of dialogue)

If aligned with the guards

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  • Goblin Recruiter: You chose wrong side, puny human!
  • (End of dialogue)

If aligned with the goblins

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  • Goblin Recruiter: Get to work then! Identify guard scum!
  • (End of dialogue)

Identifying spies

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  • A random dialogue is selected from the following:
  • Dialogue 1
    • Why is he speaking into his wrist?
  • Dialogue 2
    • I thought I saw an ear piece?
  • Dialogue 3
    • Looks quite fishy...
  • Dialogue 4
    • Not sure what to think of his activity.
  • Dialogue 5
    • He blends in very well.

Tagging non-spies

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  • A random dialogue is selected from the following:
  • Dialogue 1
    • Why is lifting his arm to his face?
  • Dialogue 2
    • Is that an ear piece I see?
  • Dialogue 3
    • Looks slightly fishy...
  • Dialogue 4
    • Pretty sure that's normal activity.
  • Dialogue 5
    • He blends in fairly well.

Stage 2

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Guard side

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  • Guard Recruiter: The Goblins have been attacking Falador for over a week now and we need your help.
  • Guard Recruiter: Will you join us in locating and defending Falador?
  • Do you want to enlist with the Guards?
  • Yes
    • If the player has no free inventory space:
      • You'll need space in your invetory[sic] to be able to enlist with the Goblins[sic].
      • (End of dialogue)
    • If the player has free inventory space:
      • Player: I'm in.
      • Guard Recruiter: Good. Your mission, should you one day have a choice of accepting it, is to locate and shoot paint at any Goblins you find.
      • Guard Recruiter: We managed to recover this paint gun from a dead Goblin, so we're using their weaponary[sic] against them.
      • An interface will be open during the period of this event when ever you're in the event area. Do you want to toggle this off?
      • Yes
      • No
  • No
    • (Same as above)

If aligned with the guards

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  • Guard Recruiter: Keep it up, recruit!
  • (End of dialogue)

If aligned with the goblins

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  • Guard Recruiter: How could you! I hope you're serving as an informant on the inside of the Goblin front you traitor!
  • (End of dialogue)

Goblin side

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  • Goblin Recruiter: We in second week and phase of Goblin advances.
  • Goblin Recruiter: We cannon them stupid guards and cover them in sticky paint.
  • Player: Sounds like fun.
  • Goblin Recruiter: Shut up human, you want to join us or what?
  • Do you want to enlist with the Goblins?
  • Yes
    • If the player has no free inventory space:
      • You'll need space in your invetory[sic] to be able to enlist with the Goblins.
      • (End of dialogue)
    • If the player has free inventory space:
      • Player: Yeah, I fancy myself on the rebellious side.
      • Goblin Recruiter: Good. Now go to stupid small town of Falador with this big machine thing and paint their guards!
      • An interface will be open during the period of this event when ever you're in the event area. Do you want to toggle this off?
      • Yes
      • No
  • No
    • (Same as above)

If aligned with the guards

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  • Goblin Recruiter: You chose wrong side, puny human!
  • (End of dialogue)

If aligned with the goblins

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  • Goblin Recruiter: Stop wasting time, human. Get to work shooting them stupid guards!
  • (End of dialogue)

Painting a guard or goblin

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  • [Goblin/Guard]: Ahhh!

Spawning in

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Goblin

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  • A random dialogue is selected from the following:
  • Dialogue 1
    • Goblin: Get them stupid guards!
  • Dialogue 2
    • Goblin: Weugh!
  • Dialogue 3
    • Goblin: Down with Falador!

Trying to paint without an Event Launcher

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  • You need an Event Launcher to do this. Please talk to your Recruiter to obtain one.

Trying to paint your own team

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  • You cannot paint your own team!

Hitting a 360 No-Scope

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  • By some miracle you hit the target!

Stage 3

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Guard Recruiter

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  • Guard Recruiter: We've pushed the goblins back after weeks of pressure, now to finish them off!
  • Guard Recruiter: Their General in command has joined the battle field and we need help bringing him down.
  • Do you want to enlist with the Guards?
  • Yes
    • If the player has no free inventory space:
      • You'll need space in your invetory[sic] to be able to enlist with the Goblins[sic].
      • (End of dialogue)
    • If the player has free inventory space:
      • Player: I'm in.
      • Guard Recruiter: Good. The general is north of Falador. Take this cannon and bring him down!
      • (End of dialogue)
  • No
    • (Same as above)

Reclaim RPG from Guard

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  • If you don't have an event rpg:
    • Guard Recruiter: Don't lose this one!
    • (End of dialogue)
  • If you have an event rpg:
    • Guard Recruiter: Sorry, you appear to already have one.
    • (End of dialogue)
  • If your inventory is full or you haven't enlisted with the guards yet:
    • You either do not have enough space to claim this or haven't enlisted in this weeks event. Talk to the Head Guard again!

Goblin Recruiter

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  • Goblin Recruiter: We goblins lost all trust in all you stupid humans! Get away from us!
  • (End of dialogue)

General Danknuck

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  • A random dialogue is selected from the following:
  • Dialogue 1
    • General Danknuck: Get dem humans!
  • Dialogue 2
    • General Danknuck: Destroy Falador!
  • Dialogue 3
    • General Danknuck: Stupid goblins, attack fasters!
  • Dialogue 4
    • General Danknuck: CHARGE!
  • Dialogue 5
    • General Danknuck: Goblins, invade!
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