Transcript of 2017 Christmas event

This page contains the transcript of the 2017 Christmas event.

The content below is copied verbatim from Old School RuneScape and thus copyrighted by Jagex.

This transcript or section is incomplete and could do with improvement.

Reason: Post-event dialogue
You can give feedback, discuss this issue on the talk page, or edit this transcript to improve it.

This transcript involves dialogue with Wise Old Man, Wise Old Man (2017 Christmas event), Dolph, Thessalia, Iffie, Donnacha, Diango, Cait, Cormac, Fionn, Ronan, Rosie, Sorcha, Jack Frost, Santa Claus, Tree (Draynor guard), and the player.

Starting out

Speaking to Wise Old Man

Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
Select an Option
Talk about Christmas
- Wise Old Man: Ah! [player name], just the person I need.
- Player: Why?
- Wise Old Man: Well, you know that this time of year Santa travels the multiverse, judging children and adults alike for their behaviour and rewarding them accordingly?
- Player: Yeeeess... what does this have to do with me?
- Wise Old Man: Well, he's taking a holiday.
- Select an Option
- Isn't Christmas a stupid time for Santa to take a break?
  - Player: Isn't Christmas a stupid time for Santa to take a break? Why can't he join the beatles on their summer holiday?
  - Wise Old Man: I believe he had some personal matters to attend to. Not to worry.
  - Wise Old Man: Santa has entrusted me with the onerous responsibility of filling in for him this year.
  - Player: And you need me because...
  - Wise Old Man: Everyone knows that Santa has little helpers.
  - Select an Option
  - Ok, ok. I'll help.
    - Player: Ok, ok. I'll help. But you're doing most of the work.
    - Wise Old Man: Excellent!
    - Player: So what do you need me to do first?
    - Wise Old Man: Well, Santa left me a message that Diango has the key to his grotto, so firstly, please fetch the key, then we can see what kind of job awaits us.
    - (End of dialogue)
  - Nope, not interested.
    - (Transcript missing. edit)
- (If the player completed the 2016 Christmas event:) So you want me to save Christmas, like last year?
  - Player: So you want me to save Christmas, like last year?
  - Wise Old Man: Oh no no no not at all.
  - Wise Old Man: Santa has entrusted me with the onerous responsibility of filling in for him this year.
  - Player: And you need me because...
  - Wise Old Man: Everyone knows that Santa has little helpers.
  - Select an Option
  - Ok, ok. I'll help.
    - (Same as above)
  - Nope, not interested.
    - (Same as above)
- (If the player didn't complete the 2016 Christmas event:) So you want me to save Christmas?
  - Player: So you want me to save Christmas?
  - Wise Old Man: Oh no no no not at all.
  - Wise Old Man: Santa has entrusted me with the onerous responsibility of filling in for him this year.
  - Player: And you need me because...
  - Wise Old Man: Everyone knows that Santa has little helpers.
  - Select an Option
  - Ok, ok. I'll help.
    - (Same as above)
  - Nope, not interested.
    - (Same as above)
- So? I don't care.
  - (Transcript missing. edit)
(Non-event dialogue) (Talk about something else)

Talking to him again

(Transcript missing. edit)

Talking to Diango

Diango: Howdy there partner! Want to see my spinning plates? Or did ya want a holiday item back?
(Non-event dialogue) Spinning plates?
(Non-event dialogue) I'd like to check holiday items please!
Talk about Christmas.
- Player: Hey Diango, I need the key to Santa's Grotto. Can you give it to me please?
- Diango: I don't give that out to just anyone, you know. What on Gielinor could you need it for?
- Player: But the Wise Old Man needs it... Santa appears to have gone AWOL and left him in charge.
- Diango: Oh... Oh no no... Please [player]. Whatever you do, keep an eye on him.
- Diango: You'll need to fetch it from my workshop, the north-western most building in Draynor Village, as I can't leave my stall unprotected, there's an uncontrolled thieving crime wave in Draynor lately.
- (End of dialogue)
(Non-event dialogue) What else are you selling?
(Non-event dialogue) I'm fine, thanks.

Attempting to enter the workshop

Pixie Foreman: Oi! You stay away from there! If you want anything, you're going to have to come talk to me!
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Foreman

Foreman: Are you here to negotiate terms?
Player: Err... I don't think so.
Foreman: Well you can't come in anyway.
Player: Oh, that might be an issue.
Foreman: Sounds like a you problem.
Player: I am here to fetch the key to Santa's Grotto. You aren't going to stop me.
Foreman: Oh! Is that all! No need to go in for that, I really don't care what happens to it now. How dare he treat us like this.
Player: If I can't go in, how do I get the key?
Foreman: Cause it's a pass phrase. [Pass phrase]. Got it?
Player: Yes, thanks.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to the Foreman again

Player: I forgot the pass phrase.
Foreman: No worries. [Pass phrase].
Player: Thanks!
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Diango after getting the pass phrase

Diango: Howdy there partner! Want to see my spinning plates? Or did ya want a holiday item back?
(Non-event dialogue) Spinning plates?
(Non-event dialogue) I'd like to check holiday items please!
Talk about Christmas.
- Diango: [player name]! Did you get the key you were after?
- Player: Yes, thank you.
- Diango: Excellent. As I said, keep an eye on that Wise Old Man. The last thing we want is for Christmas to be ruined!
- (End of dialogue)
(Non-event dialogue) What else are you selling?
(Non-event dialogue) I'm fine, thanks.

Picketing pixies

A random dialogue is selected from the following:
Dialogue 1
- Pixie: Pixie rights!
Dialogue 2
- Pixie: Pixie power!
Dialogue 3
- Pixie: Down with this kind of thing!

Speaking to Wise Old Man

Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
Select an Option
Talk about Christmas
- Player: I got the key!
- Wise Old Man: Well done dear boy. Give it to me.
- Select an Option
- Pixies pick a pack of pickled papayas.
  - If the password is correct:
  - Wise Old Man: How amusing. At least we can get in the grotto now! Let me know when you're ready.
  - Select an Option
  - I was born ready.
    - The player and Wise Old Man are outside the grotto
    - Wise Old Man: Right, let's go into the grotto.
    - The player and Wise Old Man walk to the grotto door
    - Wise Old Man: Ahem... With great age comes great wisdom, but my memory isn't as good as it was. Can you remember the passphrase?
    - Select an Option
    - Pixies pick a pack of pickled papayas.
    - If the password is correct:
      - Player: Pixies pick a pack of pickled papayas.
      - Wise Old Man: Excellent, let's see what's inside.
      - The player and Wise Old Man enter the grotto
      - Wise Old Man: Ah! A list. So much to do... I'll need an assistant. You'll do.
      - Player: But...
      - Wise Old Man: You wouldn't want to disappoint all the children waiting for their presents would you? Just think of poor gnome children crying themselves to sleep.
      - Player: Well, ok then.
      - Wise Old Man: That's the spirit. You'll need to look the part, of course.
      - The Wise Old Man takes curtains off the window.
      - Wise Old Man: Here, these can be made into a perfectly servicable^[sic] snow imp costume. They just need some snow.
      - Player: But... won't it melt?
      - The Wise Old Man casts low level alchemy on it, enchanting it.
      - Wise Old Man: Not after I enchant the fabric!
      - Player: I see.
      - Select an Option
      - Where do I get snow?
        
        Wise Old Man: This is the land of snow... there's tons of it out there.
        
        (Same as below)
      - Ok, I know where I can get snow.
        
        Wise Old Man: Of course, once you have coated it with snow, you'll need to get it tailored into a costume. Thessalia can probably help there.
        
        Player: But Varrock is miles away!
        
        Wise Old Man: I'm a wizard. Take the cloth, coat it with snow and I'll arrange transport.
        
        You take the enchanted cloth then head out to the Land of Snow.
        
        (End of dialogue)
    - Remember remember to wash the umbrella.
      - If the password is correct:
      - (Same as above)
      - If the password is incorrect:
      - (Transcript missing. edit)
    - There's no place like gnome child's house.
      - If the password is correct:
      - (Same as above)
      - If the password is incorrect:
      - (Same as above)
    - The dark squirrel faces north.
      - If the password is correct:
      - (Same as above)
      - If the password is incorrect:
      - (Same as above)
  - Ok, give me a minute.
    - (Transcript missing. edit)
- Remember remember to wash the umbrella.
  - If the password is correct:
  - (Same as above)
  - If the password is incorrect:
  - (Same as above)
- There's no place like gnome child's house.
  - If the password is correct:
  - (Same as above)
  - If the password is incorrect:
  - (Same as above)
- The dark squirrel faces north.
  - If the password is correct:
  - (Same as above)
  - If the password is incorrect:
  - (Same as above)
(Non-event dialogue) (Talk about something else)

Talking to the Wise Old Man before making enchanted snowy curtains

Wise Old Man: I gave you some enchanted cloth, if you recall. You should get it covered in snow so that it resembles a snow imp's pelt.
(End of dialogue)

Using snowballs on the enchanted cloth

You cover the enchanted cloth with snow. It sticks, and doesn't melt.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to the Wise Old Man with enchanted snowy curtains

Player: I have the cloth all snowy.
Wise Old Man: Very good. Now I need you to get it turned into a costume. Thessalia ought to be able to help. She runs the Varrock clothes shop.
The Wise Old Man hands you a teleport tablet you can use to return to the Land of Snow.
The teleother menu pops up saying "Wise Old Man ...wants to teleport you to... Thessalia's Store."
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Thessalia with the enchanted snowy curtains

Player: I have this special fabric, can you make me a snow imp costume?
Thessalia: Everyone and his dog wants a fancy dress costume! My poor fingers are being worn to the bone with all this work. Unfortunately you'll need to find someone else to do it.
Iffie: I'll do it dearie.
Thessalia: What? You can't even thread a needle without help!
Iffie: I haven't lost it yet m'gell. You get on with your work. I'll help [player].
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Iffie with the enchanted snowy curtains

Iffie: Hello dearie, that looks like some interesting fabric you have there. Did you want something done with it?
Player: Yes please, I'd like an imp costume.
Iffie: Not a problem. It won't be quite as fine as Thessalia's work, as my eyes aren't as good as they were but... hand it over.
After an hour threading a needle, and then 20 minutes of sewing, Iffie hands over something that vaguely represents a snow imp.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Dolph before being asked to charge his nose

Dolph: Go away. I'm trying to sleep.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Wise Old Man with the snow imp costume equipped

Player: I feel ridiculous in this outfit.
Wise Old Man: Not at all, you look very... ahem... festive! But your voice is wrong for a snow imp - you'll need to play the part properly to get this job done. This list is quite long.
Select an Option
What's on the list?
- Player: What's on the list?
- Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
- (End of dialogue)
What's on da list? Sorted mate.
- Player: What's on da list? Sorted mate.
- Wise Old Man: Well, first we have to... oh dear, that can't be right! Apparently we have to recharge the lead reindeer's nose?
- Select an Option
- Well it has to glow doesn't it?
  - Player: Well it has to glow doesn't it?
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- Well i' 'as ter glow doesn't it?
  - Player: Well i' 'as ter glow doesn't it?
  - Select an Option
  - Otherwise you can't see where you're going.
    - Player: Otherwise you can't see where you're going.
    - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
    - (End of dialogue)
  - Otherwise yew can't see where yer going.
    - Player: Otherwise yew can't see where yer going.
    - Wise Old Man: I suppose so. You had best go find out how to do that then.
    - (End of dialogue)

Taking the snow sprite net

You take a net.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Dolph

Player: Um... I'm told that we have to recharge your nose?
Dolph: Oh no, not that time of year again.
Player: Yes, a time to be happy!
Dolph: I wouldn't call having sprites shoved up your nose happytime.
Player: Sprites... those glowing things out there in the land of snow?
Dolph: Oh please let Santa bring you a brain this year. Of course sprites. Next you'll be asking how to catch them.
Select an Option
Of course not, use a net.
- Dolph: Wow... maybe you do have some intelligence. Not just any net though. There's a special one around here somewhere.
- Player: You're very rude.
- (End of dialogue)
Err, yeah. How do you catch them?
- Dolph: By the power of Santa's underwear... you use a net of course. A specific one. There's one around here somewhere.
- Player: You're very rude.
- (End of dialogue)

Catching sprites

You capture one of the fickle sprites.
(End of dialogue)

Kebab

You take a delicious looking kebab.
(End of dialogue)

Eating the kebab

The warmth of the meat and Christmas spices suffuse your mouth, it tastes somewhat like reindeer.
(End of dialogue)

Returning to Dolph

Sprite one

Player: I have sprites!
Dolph: Oh... is this supposed to make me happy? Go on then, get it over with.
Player: Hold still while I...
The player puts a sprite on Dolph's nose. It gets a little bit brighter red.
Dolph: Santa's great dangling...
Player: Language!
Dolph: ACHOO!
A glob of snot covers the screen
Player: Eww...
(End of dialogue)

Sprite two

Player: I have sprites!
Dolph: Oh... is this supposed to make me happy? Go on then, get it over with.
Player: Hold still while I...
The player puts a sprite on Dolph's nose. It gets a little bit brighter red.
Dolph: WHY are you doing this to me you useless lump of snot?
Player: Because otherwise the children will think Santa is fake.
Dolph: That makes ZERO sense. But I didn't expect much else of you.
(End of dialogue)

Sprite three

Player: I have sprites!
Dolph: Oh... is this supposed to make me happy? Go on then, get it over with.
Player: Hold still while I...
The player puts a sprite on Dolph's nose. It gets a little bit brighter red.
Dolph: GALLOPING GRAVY! Do you have to be so heavy handed, you oafish imp! I'll have no nose left at this rate. Get out of here!
Player: You're still very rude.
Dolph: Go chew on a cactus!
On reflection, you think that Dolph's nose is probably bright enough now.
(End of dialogue)

Returning to the Wise Old Man

Wise Old Man: Well done. Next on the list is an appropriate costume for me, as I'm not going to pass for Santa in my current robes.
Wise Old Man: Perhaps you can find something around here that Santa used?
If the player has the santa outfit from past events:
- Select an Option
- I've got a Santa costume.
  - Player: I've got a Santa costume.
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- I 'ave a Santa costume meself, innit.
  - Player: I 'ave a Santa costume meself, innit.
  - Wise Old Man: Thank you for the offer, however I'm rather taller than you and I fear that no one wants to see Santa's ankles. Perhaps you can find something around here that Santa used?
  - Select an Option
  - Ok.
    - Player: Ok.
    - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
    - (End of dialogue)
  - I'm on it guv.
    - Player: I'm on it guv.
    - (End of dialogue)
If the player doesn't have the santa outfit from past events:
- Select an Option
- Ok.
  - Player: Ok.
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- I'm on it guv.
  - Player: I'm on it guv.
  - (End of dialogue)

Talking to him again

Wise Old Man: I need an appropriate Santa costume. Perhaps you can find something for me.
Select an Option
Ok.
- (Same as above)
I'm on it guv.
- (Same as above)

Look-in wardrobe

You take the large red suit.
(End of dialogue)

Giving the large red suit to the Wise Old Man

Select an Option
I found a suit in that wardrobe.
- Player: I found a suit in that wardrobe.
- Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
- (End of dialogue)
Found dis in a wardrobe,'ll^[sic] i' do?
- Player: Found dis in a wardrobe,'ll^[sic] i' do?
- Wise Old Man: No, that's far too big - just look at it! If only you could shrink it somehow, it might do.
- Select an Option
- How do I shrink it?
  - Player: How do I shrink it?
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- How do I gun 'n pink it?
  - Player: How do I gun 'n pink it?
  - Wise Old Man: Washing your clothes in really hot water can shrink them. There must be somewhere that Santa washes his clothes around here.
  - Select an Option
  - Ok.
    - (Same as above)
  - I'm on it guv.
    - Player: I'm on it guv.
    - (End of dialogue)

Using the washer

Take logs

You pick up a bundle of fire wood.
(End of dialogue)

Putting the logs in the washer furnace

You place the firewood in the washer firebox.
(End of dialogue)

Attempting to light the furnace without a tinderbox

You need a tinderbox the light that.
(End of dialogue)

Taking tinderbox from shelves

You take a tinderbox from the shelf.
(End of dialogue)

Lighting the washer furnace

You light the fire and the water boils.
(End of dialogue)

Using A Washer

You toss the suit into the boiling water - it shrinks!
(End of dialogue)

Using the dryer

Take logs

You pick up a bundle of fire wood.
(End of dialogue)

Putting the logs in the washer furnace

You place the firewood in the dryer firebox.
(End of dialogue)

Attempting to light the furnace without a tinderbox

You need a tinderbox the light that.
(End of dialogue)

Lighting the washer furnace

You light the fire and the hot air starts to flow.
(End of dialogue)

Using A Dryer

You dry the suit which now looks a suitable size for an old man.
(End of dialogue)

Returning the shrunk suit to the Wise Old Man

Select an Option
I found a suit in that wardrobe.
- Player: I found a suit in that wardrobe.
- Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
- (End of dialogue)
Got yer bowl of fruit, init.
- Player: Got yer bowl of fruit, init.
- Wise Old Man: Oh, very nice. Yes, this will make me look just right as Santa. Well done.
- Select an Option
- What's next?
  - Player: What's next?
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- Gor blimey wot's next?
  - Player: Gor blimey wot's next?
  - Wise Old Man: The most important bit! Collecting the toys from Diango and paying for them.
  - Select an Option
  - How will we pay for that?
    - Player: How will we pay for that?
    - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
    - (End of dialogue)
  - Who's goin ta pony up?
    - Player: Who's goin ta pony up?
    - Wise Old Man: Santa's good for it. His vault is over there. The list says he's hidden the key in the office for us. See if you can find it; I'm old, and my eyesight's not what it used to be.
    - (End of dialogue)

The Vault

Lifting the plant

You find a key.
(End of dialogue)

Entering the vault door

Player: What!? There's no money in here! I had better tell the Wise Old Man.
(End of dialogue)

Taking from the shelves

You take the seal from the shelf.
(End of dialogue)

Returning to the Wise Old Man

Select an Option
The vault is empty!
- Player: The vault is empty!
- Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
- (End of dialogue)
Dere's nuffin in it, init.
- Player: Dere's nuffin in it, init.
- Wise Old Man: Empty, you say? Well, I'm sure Santa has the money somewhere. We can give Diango a promissory note instead. Did you pick up Santa's seal? It should have been in the vault.
- Select an Option
- Yes, I have it here.
  - Player: Yes, I have it here.
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- Yeah I gots it the precious.
  - Player: Yeah I gots it the precious.
  - Wise Old Man: Excellent. Use the items on the desk to write a promissory note, promising that Santa will pay Diango for the toys, and sign it with Santa's seal.
  - (End of dialogue)

Writing the promissory note

You write out a promissory note. You notice that the nose of the seal is inky so you use it to sign the note.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to the Wise Old Man again

Wise Old Man: Have you written the note?
Select an Option
Yes, I have it here.
- Player: Yes, I have it here.
- Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
- (End of dialogue)
Yeah I gots it the precious.
- Player: Yeah I gots it the precious.
- Wise Old Man: EEEeeeeggsellent.
- Player: What?
- Wise Old Man: *coughs* I mean, well done. Now you can fetch the toys from Diango. Use the sack over there.
- Select an Option
- Thanks.
  - Player: Thanks.
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- Cheers mate.
  - Player: Cheers mate.
  - (End of dialogue)

Taking Santa's Sack

You take the sack and remove the packing material, it feels limp and empty.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to the Wise Old Man without toys

Wise Old Man: Have you paid for and got the toys from Diango yet?
Select an Option
No, not yet.
- Player: No, not yet.
- Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
- (End of dialogue)
Nah mate.
- Player: Nah mate.
- (End of dialogue)

Using the North Pole

Select an Option
I want to return to the Wise Old Man's house.
- The player is teleported to the Wise Old Man's house.
I changed my mind, I'll stay here.
- (End of dialogue)

Getting the toys

Talking to Diango

Diango: Howdy there partner! Want to see my spinning plates? Or did ya want a holiday item back?
Select an Option
(Non-quest dialogue) Spinning plates?
(Non-quest dialogue) I'd like to check holiday items please!
Talk about Christmas.
- Player: Hey Diango! I've come to collect the toys.
- Diango: Uh, [player name]... One small question. What about payment? Show me the money.
- Player: Well... I have this note, which will guarantee payment once Santa returns. Will that do?
- Diango: I suppose it will have to.
- Diango: You can go to my workshop and collect the toys now.
- Player: Uh.. Diango. Is the hat you're wearing blocking your ears? Can you not hear it from here? The pixies are picketting^[sic] at the warehouse.
- Diango: I wondered what that was... I thought it was my tinnitus flaring up. Can you find out why?
- (End of dialogue)
(Non-quest dialogue) What else are you selling?
(Non-quest dialogue) I'm fine, thanks.

Talking to the picketting pixies

Player: I'm here to collect the toys.
Foreman: What toys? We haven't made em cause we're on strike!
Player: But... why are you on strike?
Foreman: Cause Santa's taken Christmas off, but we're not allowed to, oh no, we're just the cheap labour.
(End of dialogue)

Returning to Diango

Diango: Howdy there partner! Want to see my spinning plates? Or did ya want a holiday item back?
Select an Option
(Non-quest dialogue) Spinning plates?
(Non-quest dialogue) I'd like to check holiday items please!
Talk about Christmas.
- Player: The Pixie Foreman says they're striking cause Santa is on holiday and they can't have one.
- Diango: Oh, I have no clue how to solve that. If they have a holiday then we don't have the toys for Christmas.
- Player: I could make the toys!
- Diango: I don't think so, I reckon that would take you somewhere between 72 and 74 years even with the new make-all interface. Ask the Wise Old Man, perhaps he has an idea.
- (End of dialogue)
(Non-quest dialogue) What else are you selling?
(Non-quest dialogue) I'm fine, thanks.

Consulting the Wise Old Man

Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
Select an Option
Talk about Christmas.
- Wise Old Man: Have you paid for and got the toys from Diango yet?
- Select an Option
- Yes. But I'm having problems.
  - Player: Yes. But I'm having problems.
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- Yeah mate. But here's issues.
  - Player: Yeah mate. But here's issues.
  - Wise Old Man: Oh? Do elaborate.
  - Select an Option
  - The pixies are picketting!
    - Player: The pixies are picketting!
    - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
    - (End of dialogue)
  - Da pixies pickettin' init.
    - Player: Da pixies pickettin' init.
    - Wise Old Man: Oh dear. Well.. I have a cunning plan.
    - Select an Option
    - Does it involve a turnip?
      - Player: Does it involve a turnip?
      - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
      - (End of dialogue)
    - Turnip guv?
      - Player: Turnip guv?
      - Wise Old Man: What? No. We need to restore their faith in Santa.
      - If the player already owns an Anti-Santa costume from past events:
        Wise Old Man: I believe you own an Anti-Santa costume. You should dress up as Anti-Santa and scare them. With the Santa suit you got me, I will then persuade them that I have saved them.
        
        You already have the Anti-Santa outfit unlocked! Try checking in your bank, house or with Diango.
        
        (Continues below)
      - If the player doesn't an Anti-Santa costume from past events:
        Wise Old Man: As Santa's delegate, I have granted you an Anti-Santa costume. Wear it and scare the pixies. With the Santa suit you got me, I will then persuade them that I have saved them.
        
        Player: You can give out holiday items?
        
        Wise Old Man: I'd be a pretty poor substitute for Santa if I couldn't unlock holiday items!
        
        (Continues below)
      - Wise Old Man: Did you want transport to the Land of Snow?
      - Select an Option
      - Yes please.
        
        (Teleother menu comes up.)
      - No thanks.
        
        (Transcript missing. edit)
      - How come you're here and there?
        
        Wise Old Man: They don't call me the Wise Old Man for nothing, you know! How else do you think I manage to transport you to places no one else can get to? I can transport myself anywhere I want, too!
        
        (End of dialogue)
(Non-event dialogue) (Talk about something else)

Talking to him again

Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
Select an Option
Talk about Christmas.
- Wise Old Man: Don't forget the plan. You dress up as Anti-Santa, terrify the pixies and I will 'save' them. That should get them working.
- Select an Option
- Right.
  - Player: Right.
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- On it guv.
  - Player: On it guv.
  - Wise Old Man: Did you want transport to the Land of Snow?
  - (Same as above)
(Non-event dialogue) (Talk about something else)

Scaring the pixies

Foreman: Oh no, it's Anti-Santa!
The player stands in front of the pixies and a menu opens, allowing them to choose what to say to scare the pixies.
Select an Option
I'll fill your stockings with coal by carbonising your feet.
- Player: I'll fill your stockings with coal by carbonising your feet.
- Pixie: No
- Pixie: Arg! No!
- Pixie: How dare you!?
- Pixie: Leave us!
- Pixie: That's just evil
- Pixie: Get out of here!
- (End of dialogue)
I'll set rude words to your favourite Christmas songs.
- Player: I'll set rude words to your favourite Christmas songs.
- Foreman: That's not scary. I used to love doing that when I was young. Jiggle bells, jiggle bells...
- Pixie: Tell another joke!
- Pixie: Hehehe!
- Pixie: Down with this kind of thing!
- (End of dialogue)
I'll re-wrap your gifts in your kitten's pelt.
- Player: I'll re-wrap your gifts in your kitten's pelt.
- Pixie: That's just wrong.
- Pixie: Ah!
- Pixie: Arg! No!
- Pixie: Don't bully
- Pixie: How dare you!?
- (End of dialogue)
I'll recreate Evil Tree, starting with your Christmas tree.
- Player: I'll recreate Evil Tree, starting with your Christmas tree.
- Foreman: Actually I think I'd like that. It gave lots of XP.
- (End of dialogue)
I'll put mistletoe where you won't like kissing under it.
- Player: I'll put mistletoe where you won't like kissing under it.
- Pixie: That's just evil
- Pixie: No!
- Pixie: Don't let him hurt us!
- Pixie: Get out of here!
- (End of dialogue)
I'm Auntie Santa. Give your auntie a kiss.
- Player: I'm Auntie Santa. Give your auntie a kiss.
- Foreman: What? You're not scary, you're just creepy!
- Pixie: That's funny.
- Pixie: Are you sure he's evil?
- Pixie: Down with this kind of thing!
- (End of dialogue)
Your gifts will need batteries that you can't get.
- Player: Your gifts will need batteries that you can't get.
- Foreman: What are batteries? What kind of fantasy world do you think you're living in?
- (End of dialogue)
I'll turn your snowcones yellow.
- Player: I'll turn your snowcones yellow.
- Pixie: Ah!
- Pixie: Get out of here!
- (End of dialogue)

After scaring them with the four lines

The Wise Old Man appears in his Santa costume
Wise Old Man: Ho ho ho!
Pixies: It's Santa!
Wise Old Man: Leave the pixies alone, Anti-Santa!
Player: Are you going to make me?
The Wise Old Man throws a snowball at the player teleporting them away
Player: Ow!
(End of dialogue)

Talking to the Wise Old Man after the ruse

Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
Select an Option
Talk about Christmas.
- Wise Old Man: Well, that seemed to fool them satisfactorily! Now that the silly pixies are back at work, you can go and pick up the presents.
- If the player isn't wearing the snow imp costume:
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and dress appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to be a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- Select an Option
- Right.
  - (Same as above)
- On it guv.
  - (Same as above)
(Non-event dialogue) (Talk about something else)

Collecting the presents

Player: Can I have my sack filled with presents please?
Foreman: Of course! Let me have that empty sack.
The Pixie foreman hands over a bulging sack.
(End of dialogue)

Returning to the Wise Old Man

Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
Select an Option
Talk about Christmas.
- Select an Option
- I got the presents!
  - Player: I got the presents!
  - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
  - (End of dialogue)
- Tin tack's full guv.
  - Player: Tin tack's full guv.
  - Wise Old Man: Excellent, I'll take that and be on my way delivering. Go check on the pixies, make sure they're still working.
  - Select an Option
  - Will do.
    - Player: Will do.
    - Wise Old Man: No, I need you to take your work seriously and act appropriately. If you're going to be Santa's assistant, you need to speak like a snow imp.
    - (End of dialogue)
  - Right you are guv.
    - Player: Right you are guv.
    - The Wise Old Man disappears.
    - (End of dialogue)
(Non-event dialogue) (Talk about something else)

Talking to the Foreman again

Foreman: Was Santa happy with the toys?
Player: We're working out some difficulties.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to the other pixies in the workshop

Pixie: I love my job, Santa's given us all June^[sic] off on holiday.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Diango

Diango: Howdy there partner! Want to see my spinning plates? Or did ya want a holiday item back?
(Non-event dialogue) Spinning plates?
(Non-event dialogue) I'd like to check holiday items please!
Talk about Christmas.
- Diango: [player name]! How goes organising Christmas?
- Player: The Wise Old Man's set off to deliver the presents.
- (End of dialogue)
(Non-event dialogue) What else are you selling?
(Non-event dialogue) I'm fine, thanks.

Leaving the Wise Old Man's house

Guard up Tree: Psssssst!
Player: Hhuh?^[sic]
Guard up Tree: Psssssst!
Player: You said that already.
Guard up Tree: Uh, yeah well I need you to see something. I've been conducting surveillance on the Wise Old Man.
Cutscene of the surveillance video of the Wise Old Man in the Santa's office
Wise Old Man: Right, while [player name] is looking for Thessalia, let's have a look around...
Wise Old Man: The key... just where the list said it would be.
Inside the vault
Wise Old Man: That's more like it! Heroes should be rewarded for their service; I've always said so. Every quest ought to have a decent reward.
The Wise Old Man telekinetic grabs all the gold bars in the vault
Wise Old Man: Heh heh heh
Wise Old Man: Now to put the key back and no one will ever know...
Wise Old Man: Heh, heh - and when Santa asks, [player name] will testify that the money was already gone when he found the vault key.
End of cutscene
Guard up Tree: See what I mean? That Wise Old Man is up to no good with Santa's gold!
Player: Well, that looks bad... what do you want me to do?
Guard up Tree: Go find the real Santa and tell him!
Player: Why can't you?
Guard up Tree: I am an h'officer of the law. I must remain at my post.
Player: Ok, but I don't know where he is!
Guard up Tree: Luckily for you, big data lets me track their bank accounts. He's with Jack Frost in Corsair Cove.
Select an Option
Where's Corsair Cove?
- Player: Where's Corsair Cove?
- Guard up Tree: I believe there's a boat in Port Sarim with a Captain Tock aboard that can take you there.
- Player: What was I doing again?
- Guard up Tree: Going to inform Santa of the Wise Old Man's treachery with Jack Frost in Corsair Cove.
- Select an Option
- Where's Corsair Cove?
  - (Same as above)
- Ok, I'll go find him.
  - (Same as below)
Ok, I'll go find him.
- Player: Ok, I'll go find him.
- (End of dialogue)

Tattling to Santa

Player: He.. he.. stole it all!
Santa: What? Who? Stole what? Calm down and tell me.
Player: The Wise Old Man, he took all of your gold!
Santa: He what!? Right, stay here, I'll sort this out.
Jack Frost: But...
Santa: Sorry son, duty calls.
Upstairs in the Wise Old Man's house
Wise Old Man: Four million and 74.
Wise Old Man: Heh heh heh
Wise Old Man: Four million and 75.
Wise Old Man: Four million and 76.
Santa appears.
Santa: You better watch out.
Wise Old Man: Oh, b-
Cutscene ends.
Santa: [player name], thank you for your help. Things have now been sorted out. You can talk to the Wise Old man^[sic]... he may have something to say to you.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Santa again

Santa: Thanks so much for your help, [player name]. I can relax and enjoy my holiday now.
(End of dialogue)

Talking to Jack Frost

Jack Frost: Shhh! You'll scare the fish!
(End of dialogue)

Conclusion

Wise Old Man: Greetings, [player name].
Select an Option
- Talk about Christmas.
- Player: Hello, Santa says you have something to tell me.
- Wise Old Man: Oh, Ahem... I'm not filling in for Santa anymore. He and I have had a chat, and agreed that I should step down from that job.
- Player: He 'had a chat' with you?
- Wise Old Man: Well, he also got angry and filled my house with coal.
- Player: Ha ha haha! But... where is it all?
- Wise Old Man: Coal sells quite well on the GE. I'm considerably richer for that.
- Player: That's ironic, when combined with iron ore that is.
- Wise Old Man: Well it's all thanks to you, yes, I know what you did. But I'm better off for it, so I guess I can use some of the tricks I learned filling in for Santa to reward you.
- Event complete!
- (End of dialogue)
(Non-event dialogue) (Talk about something else)

Post-event dialogue

Santa Claus

(Transcript missing. edit)

Jack Frost

(Transcript missing. edit)

Wise Old Man

(Transcript missing. edit)

Diango

Diango: Howdy there partner! Want to see my spinning plates? Or did ya want a holiday item back?
(Non-event dialogue) Spinning plates?
(Non-event dialogue) I'd like to check holiday items please!
Talk about Christmas.
- (Transcript missing. edit)
(Non-event dialogue) What else are you selling?
(Non-event dialogue) I'm fine, thanks.

Pixies

A random dialogue is selected from the following:
Dialogue 1
- Pixie: Happy happy joy joy!